"Just for Fun Mortal Goals"

In the current BYU magazine, there was an article about Stacy T. Taniguchi.  He is a BYU professor of experience design and management (which used to be the major of recreation management and youth leadership).  He is a popular professor and speaker and is famous for his "100-Don't just endure. Make a list and Thrive." The article talks about his decision to make a list and to go about accomplishing those things in an intentional way.  He teaches an introduction speech about this topic to upcoming freshman at several universities.  It was an interesting read and I now hope to hear him speak one day, maybe take a class from him.  But as I read it and about his list, I realized that although I have shared about my list from time to time on the blog--about things I have checked off or partially checked off, I don't know if I really talked about the whole of how my list came about.  In addition, I don't think I have encouraged my children and others to consider making a list as well.  I did a bit of a search through the blog to see what I may have written in the past and didn't find anything, so here it goes.  Please disregard if you heard it all before.

Stacy Taniguchi

Bro. Taniguchi talked about a day when he was a student at the University of Hawaii.  It was a perfect surf day and the second class was out, he headed for the beach...only to discover that his professor was already out riding the waves.  He said, "It was an eye-opening moment for me.  You have to make time to do what you love."

I agree, but you also have to remind yourself that much of what you are doing is because you intentionally chose something along the path.  Creating a list allows you to be reminded that you have choices and aims for your life.

Bro. Taniguchi says that it is not a bucket list.  It is a blue print you use to plan to live."  He was quoted as saying, "You're just winging it.  It's not that it won't be a good life, but it might be one in which you have regrets, you stagnate, you have a midlife crisis...when opportunities come along, "people don't see them because  they don't even know what they want....the 100 list can keep living and breathing itself into your life."  You can go to this post about his rules and a template if you want to make your own list.  https://magazine.byu.edu/article/100list/

Now this man is crazy.  He has done some over the top type of stuff.  He is a climber and has climbed most of the major summits in the world several times.  He has built his own house.  And the list goes on.  They say his stories are incredible.  I don't want anyone to think that adventure is what making such a list is all about.  For some, the answer is yes, but not for all of us.  I think it is looking into your own heart and finding what is there and then putting it down in some fashion and then waiting until the right moment to do it or making the right moment to do it.  It is literally thinking about life and what are some little things you want to do while you are here.

Bro. Taniguchi is not the only person with this idea, of course.  Another I have heard about is John Stoddard, an adventurer and traveler, who around the turn of the century create a list of 166 things he wanted to do.  He completed his list by the time he was 32 and started another one.  I found an article about him that a therapist at LDS Family Services had left in a therapy room.  It was interesting reading since I already had a list and later I found out that one of my clients was a direct descendant of him.

Now my list:  In 1979, Gary and I lived in Sunset, Utah.  It was back when Relief Society was held during the week in the morning.  The teacher asked us to write our own obituaries and include our accomplishments, characteristics, and whatever else we would want people to say about us.  She gave us several minutes and so I wrote.  I actually don't remember the actual lesson or the point of that exercise was.  I do know the results for me personally.  Within the next couple of days, I thought about what I had written and wondered how I would make sure those things had happened.  I had put children on the list, but had recently just had my third miscarriage--how would that come to pass.  In the process of that, I created my first list.  It had 12 items, because like Taniguchi--I had rules for my list--only 12 things are on it at the same time.  I only put things on the list that I sense I can accomplish.  That is hard to explain.  All I can say is that my list is just not a wish list of things that I would like to do (and I do have another list of 25 places I wanted to see in the world)--it is a written list of things my heart tells me I will do.  I write them down so that I can recognize and celebrate them when they do happen. 

My list did not include things I would consider to be more spiritual type of goals such as being a better mother or learning to teach children better.  I have had goals like that but they are separate from this list.  That is why somewhere along the past 39 years, I named my list the "Just for Fun Mortal Goals."  These are not really things that are critical in the eternities, but they are some of life's adventures, achievements, or stuff--that I chose to intentionally seek along the way.

My biggest regret in regards to this list is that I did not track it over the years.  Once I accomplished something, I drew a line through it.  When the list got old looking, I would rewrite it and take off the ones that I had accomplished.  Now that I have a blog, I do record meeting some of those things on here, but even then I am not sure I have noted them all.

Over the years, no one has even seen my list.  Gary would have to chime in as he is the most likely to have seen the list at times, but although we talked about things on my list, I don't know if he has ever actually read the whole list at any given time.  Gary is my biggest cheerleader for my list.  He makes the detours needed to see that special bridge that is "on the list." And when we cruised through the Panama Canal, he told me, "I am so glad that I married someone that had "Going through the Panama Canal" on their list."  How sweet is that!  When he knows something has been crossed off, he will ask me what is being added on (probably so he can figure out what budget might be needed for that goal).  He has been a bit nervous as I had only 9 things on my list for a long time--like a few years.  I don't just add something, like I mentioned, unless I know it should be there. However, I fully intended to die with things on my list.  Like Bro. Taniguchi, I don't see it as a bucket list that needs to be done before I die.  It is how I choose to live that is the focus of my list.

Although traveling is included in much of my list--past and present, I have had simple things like owning a set of china (and as an added bonus, I have a Chinese set of china, too) and having a grandfather clock (when you have something like that on your list, you don't just want any clock.  It took me about 25 years to first afford and then buy the right grandfather clock.  When I see it even now or hear it chime, it makes me smile--it was once on the list.)  I can't remember everything on the list but some other ones were:  getting a master's degree; writing an article that was published; seeing whales, riding an elephant, walking along the Great Wall of China.  I am not sure I have even had 100 things on my list over the past 39 years, but I know that my life has been amazing in big and small ways.  I think having my "Just for Fun Mortal Goals" has been a bit of the spice that has made it--my life--just that much sweeter..................and I love crossing things off of lists, even if it has taken me 25 years to complete it.

My rules:

1.  Maximum of 12 things on the list.

2.  Things that I know in my heart of hearts should be there.

3.  Nothing is too small or too big to be on the list.

4.  There are no rules about what type of things can be on the list--it can be an experience; it can be a destination; it can be an achievement; it can be obtaining an object.

5.  It is allowable to put things on the list that should have been there and cross them off.  Some things should be on the list, but I didn't know until they happened.

I once had a rule that I crossed it off once I accomplished it--until I first saw whales in the wild.  Then I knew I had to do it again so it stayed on my list.  I did cross it off after our trip in Puget Sound last summer, although I still hope to see whales again.  Anyway, apparently my rules are flexible! :)

And so....drum roll please, my list-------just in case you wanted to know:

"Just for Fun Mortal Goals"

(no special order)

1.  Serve an LDS mission with Gary.

2.  Visit the six "special" bridges in the US.  (This one was from an article I read at a doctor's office several years ago.  I immediately knew it was something I wanted to do.  We have been to three of them so far--Golden Gate, Royal Gorge in Colorado, and Perrin Bridge in Twin Falls, Idaho. Three more to go--all back east--in New York, West Virginia, and Key West, Florida.  These are bridges which are famous because they were the first to do something new or unique in bridge building.)

3.  Write an article that is published--adoption, family, Church.  (As I mentioned, I have had things published, but I have kept this on my list because I don't feel like it is quite accomplished yet.)

4.  Attend a 49ers (football) game.

5.  Visit the LDS Church sites in the east---New York and Kirkland, Ohio.

6.  Write my life story  (which I have now called-"101 Tales, Stories, and Stuff".  I realized that I have taught so much in the Church and many of my stories my own children have never heard, so I have started writing these stories down for them and hope to print the first set in a year or two.)
7.  Visit all 50 states (flying into the airport does NOT count.)

8.  Make baby quilts for each of my grandchildren.  (Getting close--only three more to bind and I will be caught up.  Of course, this remains on the list in case there are future grandchildren.)

9.  Travel from the beginning of Hwy. 101 near Olympia, Washington, to its end in LA--not in one trip.

On this list, only serving a mission with Gary was on my original list in 1979--not sure how that will happen, but it remains there as a goal.  The newest one is the Hwy. 101.  The next one I am planning to achieve is attending a 49ers game.  It has been on my list for about 20 years and I think it is time for it to come off (and as Gary pointed out, they are doing bad, so tickets might be cheaper and easier to get.)

So there you have it.  The List!  Nothing earth shattering.  Not planning on climbing Mt. Everett or anything.  I am going to work on adding more things to my list and take some of the thoughts from Bro. Taniguchi to guide my thinking.

Do I think everyone needs to make a list?  No.  But everyone should consider it and see if it would add meaning and pleasure and joy to your life.  Gary said once it was good enough to be married to someone with a list.  Maybe that is true as well.

What are you thinking about on a Sunday?  Hope it was a restful day for you, too.

Ice Castles Revisited

As the Christmas gift for Scott's family, we headed to the Ice Castles in Midway, UT, and made a little trip out of it by staying over night in Heber City.  It is truly amazing what people can do with water and sprinklers and lights--It is a magical scene to behold.

James and Scarlett checking out a tunnel

 The colors are amazing and everchanging....

 Scarlett trying to sit on an ice seat but it was cold and slippery....

Scarlett loves to wear headbands and it was actually helpful in the darken crowds because you could easily spot her little "ears."

Love this profile....

The slide was a big hit for Scarlett and she and Jena did it over and over again.  Jena had on snow pants, but Scarlett had quite a cold bottom after all of her sliding.

Scarlett on the right

Then Jena on the left

This is an overview of where the kids climbing up to get to the slide...the changing lights gives an interesting effect.

Everyone was ready for a warm fire and some cookies....

Jena and Scarlett

James and Chantel

It was a bit of a production to get here.  Chantel and the kids drove to Scott's work and picked him up leaving his car at work.  Gary went down to Provo and picked Jena up there and headed up Provo Canyon to our hotel and then drove to meet us at the Ice Castles.  I left from work after my last client and we all met at the check-in desk to see the Ice Castles.

As a result, we all went separate directions to get our cars and head to the hotel.  When I arrived at my car, I found two people with Ice Castles vests on writing a note.  You guessed it.  A teenager employee trying a resort shuttle cut the corner too close and scraped the left front of my car.  I was so appreciative that the young employee immediately went and told his supervisor and that they were going to take care of it by leaving a note for me to contact them.  I probably won't not have noticed that night or maybe even the next day.  The boy apologized a couple of times, but I also praised him for taking responsibility and doing the right thing.  When I reached out to the contact person the next day, I said the same thing and that I hoped they would tell his parents that they should be proud of him, too.  Accidents happen, but it is what happens afterwards that is the most important. (Not hopefully their insurance will be equally has forthcoming.)

We headed to the hotel to sleep, except for James who apparently is not a fan of sleeping in new places and didn't fall asleep for more than a few minutes until after 5:30 am.  The joy of parenting!

We took Scarlett down for breakfast and she chose the pancakes.

They had a pancake machine where you pushed a button
and you could watch your pancakes cooking
as they went along a belt.

 Scarlett loves it.....

Gary's favorite moment was after he and Scarlett had walked down to find the pool.  As they were returning, Scarlett took off running to the dining room and exclaimed (in a very happy and excited voice), "There is really a pool."  The whole dining room smiled because of her excitement and one lady behind me said to her husband...remember when our kids were like that?  Gary was a few steps behind her and said that as he stepped into the dining room, he could see the happy smiles on every guest there.

One of my favorite moments was when we were swimming in the above mentioned pool.  Scarlett was jumping in off the side into Gary's or my arms and then James decided that he wanted to do it.  He got up near the side and flung his arms back like he was doing a standing long jump.  It was so cute...and frustrating for Chantel and Scott who kept trying to get a picture of it.  I didn't take any pictures swimming, but there is something fun about swimming and looking outside at snow everywhere.

Gary was trying to convince Jena to sit in the sled on the side of the walkway.  She declined that although you could see that others had used that photo op.

We took the back way back to Syracuse which I was so glad that we did.  It was a gorgeous drive with little traffic.  It takes just over an hour or so to get home that way.  Jena took some pictures along the way.

Passing Gary in the truck

The red rock at the merger of I-80 and I-84.....so pretty with white snow on the level surfaces.

 Morgan Valley with Gary in the truck ahead of us.............blue skies made the drive even more pretty. (and the clear roads.)

We weren't even gone 24 hours, but it was still great to get away...and then we still had the weekend ahead to do weekend stuff.....

like cleaning the house, bowling for Gary and Jena, ushering for Jena and me, and then meeting up with Gary and Ben to watch:

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go see it, because after all, Mary Poppins was Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke.  However last Sunday night, while doing some Disney Trivia together on You Tube, we watched a documentary about making the movie and decided we had to see it.  It was amazing.  I was so struck by Emily Blunt who played Mary Poppins-- how she maintain the character and some of the feel of Julie Andrews without ever making you feel like she was "imitating" or not quite as good as.  She was Mary Poppins.  It was so fun and sweet and "Mary Poppins--ee"--practically perfect in every way.

Watch the you tube documentary if you can as well.

And here we are back to Sunday again.......I am still teaching the Primary class one more time as a sub, but then I will be slipping in to Relief Society to get a feel for how that looks before I have to teach.  I haven't been in Relief Society much in this ward.  There are many sisters who I don't even know their names yet.  Change.......got to love it!

Changes are not painless............

Certainly a topic that I have touched on in the past.  The very nature of life including service in the Church is based on change and the potential that has to make us a better person.  However, change is not easy sometimes.

It started with a text from the ward executive secretary last Tuesday to meet with a member of the Bishopric on Sunday morning at 11:30.  First off, I would rather be in the "can you come over in 60 minutes to meet" club.  Having five days to think about it is never my idea of good fun.  However by Sunday morning, I had convinced myself that they were not going to release me from Primary because the new year had just started and I had a new class (who is amazing) and a great teacher partner.  They were just going to ask me to do something on top of that.

So when basically the first words were, "First, Sister Hall, we would like to extend a release from the Primary....." I wrinkled up my nose and said that I had hoped that I would keep that calling.  We spoke briefly about my service in the Primary and then he extended the call to teach Relief Society--which will be on the fourth Sunday of the even months.  Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy teaching Relief Society and I believe in the mission of Relief Society, but every other month---how do you even build a rapport or teaching connection with that?  I guess I will figure it out.

I had about 25 minutes to sit in the Chapel until our Sacrament Meeting started.  I spent the the time trying to read John 1 but mostly mourning.  I was teary for the whole time and through Church and in my class and in sharing time when the kids were singing.  Nothing can match that feeling when children are singing a beautiful Primary song about Christ.  And then again last night, I was tearful.  I feel good about feeling sad and tearful.  Loss is often connected with loving and loving is what I felt for my Primary classes over the past three years.

I will love teaching Relief Society again.  It has been over nine years since I have had a calling to teach adults and I know I like it.  But, Relief Society sisters, as sweet as they are, have never waved to me during Sacrament Meeting when they catch my eye or tell their mothers they love me or bring me sweet notes and treats at Christmas time.  It isn't the same, it is a loss, and it is okay.

And I am subbing next Sunday for my "old" teacher partner as her husband is having surgery!  So I don't quite have to give it up yet.

Grandchildren Fun

I have had some fun opportunities hanging out with grandchildren over the past week.  The past two Saturday nights Scarlett and James have hung out at our house until bedtime and then I took them home to go to bed.

These were from two Saturdays ago when Jena, Scarlett, and James were playing super heroes and then royalty and then just flying, all because I tied sheets/blankets around their necks.

Scarlett is working hard because she is pulling James on the sheet.

Jena had to use two hands to pull Scarlett who had James hanging on to her feet.

Aunt Jena and her sheet became a tunnel.

Super Auntie Jena.....

Bedtime at home was a little more complicated than in the past.  After getting James to bed and Scarlett was settled in bed.  I headed downstairs to read a book.  A few minutes later, Scarlett came downstairs and told me that she was too excited to sleep since I was downstairs in her own house.  She curled up in my lap and we talked for about 45 minutes until Scott and Chantel got home  (I had warned them by text that she was still awake and sent them the photo below.  When you are a parent, coming home from date night to a quiet house was always the goal at night.  They were very sweet about it.  Chantel texted--'Aww glad you got to spend some close time with her. ' That is a sweet daughter-in-law.)  It was the sweetest time together except when I was worried about getting her to bed.  She talked about her preschool and her art--anything she could think of to keep the conversation going.  At one point she said, "I think I could sleep if I laid down on the lounger and could look at you."  She did that for about 2 minutes then opened her eyes and said, "Grandma, I love you.  I am happy you are at my house."    AND that is why we have children (because I have had similar sweet moments with them) and THEN they have children...because despite of the work involved, they fill us to the brim with love and hope in one sweet moment at a time.

My sweet friend, Robynn Thiot (from Plano, TX) sent me mermaid tails before these three granddaughters were born.  This past week, Jessica sent me a photo of her girls in the tails and then Tosha took one of Ava in her tail and then Jessica photo-shopped the three of them together in the mermaid photo.  All of which I shared with Robynn.  How grateful I am for cell phones and the access it gives to family and friends--and in this case both--to connect, enjoy, and be together if only for a brief moment.

Carter and Alex

Ava

I spent part of Friday and Saturday helping with Jessica's kids as well.  Elessia has been very sick with the flu (in spite of having the flu shot) and Jessica had to head to work.  I am so glad that we live close enough to help like that, although my work gets in the way sometimes.  I am so grateful for family and friends who would step in and help when I was sick and Gary was out of town.  Being a sick mom is never a great time.  And how lucky we were when I was struggling with migraines for several years that Gary was working from our home and he could take over when needed.

Jessica's kids--  (some photos she sent me and some I took)

Liam brought in some apples and told me
"Look, I made a mickey mouse."
Hard to see with his hands in the way but he did.

Alex and Carter

Zander

 Zander with Alex

Scott's kids

James

Scarlett--she likes mermaids, too.

And this is mothering (from Tosha) holding a sleeping Ava while Cooper and Niki are waiting nearby for you to do something......

Cooper and Niki

My kids have been known to mock me about how much I adore these little people.  In the first place, the silliness and playfulness I show with the grand-kids, I also did with my own kids.  They just don't remember that as much.  I tied sheets around their necks and we ran around the house; we built tent forts on rainy days and sunny ones; we played in the sandboxes at our various homes.  And second, in my heart of hearts, I know that my kids will someday hold grandchildren of their own and understand that unique spot that grandchildren hold--because when I look at my grandchildren not only do I see them, I see the reflections of their parents--my children.  When I see my children parenting their children, it makes that love doubled or squared!!

I am just a human mortal person, but it gives me another glimpse into the endless and unchanging love of our Heavenly Father and our brother, Jesus Christ.  They see clearly those family connections and reflections--and occasionally we even show His reflection in our lives.  How glad I am to know that the "Circle of Life" neither started here and will not end here, but instead is part of the whole of eternity.