Happy Anniversary to Us!! 46 years and Counting.....

to eternity and beyond.....[if there is such a time as beyond eternity--too deep of philosophical discussion for this blog. :) ]

I feel like I should be able to write some amazing post about marriage to Gary and our lives together, but the words are hard to find.  Last night as I went to bed after Gary had fallen asleep ('just one more chapter'--some things haven't changed), I laid there and thought about us 46 years ago and what I would have thought if someone told us about our lives and that we would be in Arkansas serving a mission 46 years from that time!  

Us in our reception in Amarillo, Texas on March 10, 1978

Some things turned out as "planned"-- meaning my plan, of course--

    *We got married in the Provo Utah Temple!

Our engagement picture

    *I finished my BS degree in psychology from BYU

1979 graduation

    *We did have five children (and the 10 grandchildren are a wonderful bonus)

First Family picture with Scott

Right before Ben's adoption was finalized

A month after Tosha arrived to our family

First family picture with Jena.  She is 2 years old.

Family picture prior to Scott getting married

    *We did live in China (Hong Kong--close enough)

Our second Christmas Eve in Hong Kong

    * We did adopt a child (four to be exact--we overachieved on that goal, I guess.) and three who were Chinese, another "plan" I had.

    *I did get my graduate degree (earlier than planned--before kids rather than when they were "All in school")

    *We did learn to scuba diving--an oft wished dream when I was growing up and watching Jacques Cousteau on TV--but never knew it was actually possible.

    *I have seen the Great Wall of China, a water buffalo in the rice patties, and a monk in orange robes in Thailand--three distinct things I knew I would experience in my life time.

    *We did serve a senior mission together but with a plus one (Jena)

    *We have been through the Panama Canal--a goal my friend and I made in 8th grade!

What didn't turn out as expected:  

    *I never expected to move 13 times in our married life and to end up in Syracuse, Utah. 

When we got married, Gary was working in Springfield, Missouri, and we assumed that is where we would always be.  Neither of our families had moved much when we were growing up and we expected to be the same.  Even though I expected to "live in China," I mostly expected that to be while serving a senior mission with Gary.  I really didn't know about expat living.  

    * I never expected to deal with infertility--with miscarriages, surgeries, GIFT, and IVFs. And the fact that I gave myself shots still is somewhat mindboggling to me!

    *I never expected to go back to graduate school and get a second Masters degree. 

    *I never expected to foster babies, kids and teenagers or serve as a birthing coach for 7 young women.

    *I certainly didn't expect that adoption would be such a big part of my life--not only as a way for building our family, but in helping birthmothers in their life planning and in helping other couples to build their families--both as a community helper and later professionally.

Receiving a community award for work we did to support adoption
while living in Hong Kong

    *And while I was planned on five kids (one who was adopted), I couldn't have imagined what having Jessica, Scott, Ben, Tosha, and Jena in my life would mean....they have taught me so much about life and who I am and about loving, being an advocate and loving some more.  Because of who they are, they have enriched our lives with blessings, new experiences, and more family by adding spouses and grandkids!

Family Reunion 2022

We have had hard times as well, just like everyone else.  However, we have been spared many of the trials that others experience.  I hope that we remain grateful for those blessings and steadfast and patient in our trials.  We have seen much more of the world than I ever expected to see, met more people than I expected to be connected with, and have been able to serve in our community and in the Church in many wonderful ways.  We have been blessed to serve two missions--this one including the first place we started off married life--Springfield, Missouri--

The one constant has been Gary.  How grateful I am for him.  He is my cheerleader, my biggest supporter in good times and in the hard times, and listens to me later at night when he would rather be asleep.  He takes my wildest ideas and makes them happen--neighborhood parties, air rockets, Wood badge, my Little Free Library, the list goes on and on.  He takes me to bridges and tunnels, on trains and planes, and other crazy places that I wanted to see or to do.  He was the one who pushed me out the car door to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge to start that wonderful tradition. He remained positive during the heart breaks of infertility and the years of migraines!

He has said many nice things to me, but one that I loved was during the time we were going through the Panama Canal...this was MY 8th grade goal, not his...but at one point he turned to me and said, "I am glad that I married someone who wanted to go through the Panama Canal." How sweet is that???

Thanks for the last 46 years, my sweet Gary....here is to the next 46 years and beyond! 

We have seen enough of life to understand that some of the hard parts are still ahead.  We know that the same things which have helped us in the past will matter in the future as well--our love and faith in God and Jesus Christ, the promptings of the spirit, family and friends, and trying to keep a celestial perspective in our lives!  We don't have a love song...we didn't date enough and listen to the radio enough together to ever have one...but in some phrases from the old love songs of the past--

"Cherish is the word...."

"I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation

And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world"

(Sung by a friend, Dinah Withers, at our reception in Amarillo)

"Oh the marriage of your spirits here

Has caused Him to remain

For whenever two or more of you 

Are gathered in His name

There is Love. 

There is Love."

(Another song sung by another friend, Brock Lovett, at our reception):

"My life will be in your keeping, waking, sleeping, laughing, weeping
Longer than always is long long time
But far beyond forever you'll be mine."

 I love you now...... and for always!!!

And you know,..... all of those unexpected things in our lives and the long list of un-named trials, afflictions, and plain hard things....they have led to some of our greatest growth and blessings as well! The good and the bad, the bitter and the sweet--all part of God's plan of happiness and salvation for us and all of His children!