Gary and I had been asked to give talks in the YSA Ward at the end of June, but then we were both sick on that Sunday so it got bumped to yesterday. It is odd to give a talk when there are more people on the stand (8) than in the pews (7). Gary said that he felt like asking people to go sit in the pews so he could see their faces.
Jena had not been asked to speak with us and truthfully, she was a bit annoyed about it. She mentioned it a few times that she was sure she should be talking as well. After all since we arrived, she has always spoken with us. But they didn't ask her when they called...she was not happy but agreed that she would "take a break" this time.
Then at Church, the branch president came up to her and asked her if she was willing to bear her testimony between our two talks. She was delighted and did a good job. We took a minute before the meeting started and wrote what she wanted to say on the back of my talk.
Gary spoke on being a peacemaker--based on the recent talk by President Nelson. He did a great job making it relevant and personal to the young adults.
Here are my remarks: Come Unto Christ With A Particle Of Faith
“But the ship was now in the midst of the
sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.
25 And ain the fourth
watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
26 And when the disciples
saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit;
and they cried out for fear.
27 But straightway Jesus spake
unto them, saying, Be of good acheer; it is I; be
not afraid.
28 And Peter answered him and
said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
29 And he said, Come. And when
Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind
boisterous, he was aafraid; and
beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
31 And immediately Jesus
stretched forth his hand,
and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little afaith, wherefore
didst thou bdoubt?
Another story— This one is about a father who brings his beloved son “possessed of an evil spirit” to be healed by Christ…
23 Jesus said unto him, If thou
canst believe, all things are apossible to him
that bbelieveth.
24 And straightway the father
of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou
mine aunbelief.
And then Christ reached for the son and healed him.
These are two of my favorite stories from Christ’s
mortal ministry in Judea. They give us a tiny glimpse into who the Savior is
and more importantly His great desire to bless us—His brothers and sisters-- if
we reach out to Him with even a small amount of faith. Both Peter and the
unnamed father exhibited faith—they came to Jesus—And even in the uncertainty
or perhaps incompleteness of their belief—Christ reached out in response to
their calls and blessed them. —He pulled Peter from the water and dismissed the
evil spirit from a young son.
I love that, because that means that I can reach out
again and again in my imperfect faith and know that Christ stands ready and
willing even anxious to rend aid and help to me and --help to you-- as we
journey along this mortal life. And that
through His mercy and aid I can some day return to live with our Heavenly
parents.
I was raised in the gospel and the building blocks of my
testimony and my conversion to the gospel started when I was young. I knew there was a loving Heavenly Father who
heard my prayers because I felt Him the first time when I was young. I learned I could repent because I repented
and saw the joy that came from that. I
learned the Book of Mormon was true because I read it with a desire to know as
a teenager and my prayers were answered. As I lived different principles of the
gospel, I saw the blessings that came into my life. When I didn’t obey commandments, I saw the
difficulties that sin created as well.
In my early adulthood, I had a testimony of the truthfulness of the
gospel and a desire to be an active member of the Church for the rest of my
life.
However, inside of myself, I didn’t see how there was
any way that I would be able to make it to the Celestial Kingdom. I was aware of my weaknesses and shortcomings
and didn’t see how I would ever “measure up.”
Have you ever felt that way?
Elder Bednar described my situation at the time and
apparently other members of the Church when he stated: “I am acquainted with Church members who accept as
true the doctrine and principles contained in the scriptures and proclaimed
from this pulpit. And yet they have a hard time believing those gospel truths
apply specifically in their lives and to their circumstances. They seem to have
faith in the Savior, but they do not believe His promised blessings are
available to them or can operate in their lives. I also encounter brothers and
sisters who fulfill their callings dutifully but for whom the restored gospel
has not yet become a living and transforming reality in their lives.”
That was the situation that
I found myself in—I wasn’t seeing or understanding that the plan of salvation
was not just meant for all of God’s children, but it was meant for me
personally and individually. That God’s plan
of Happiness was the plan for me to return to live with our Heavenly Parents
again. That Jesus Christ didn’t just
atone in the Garden and die on the cross for all but also for me…It is this
truth that I want for you to discover or remember or re-remember for yourself that
the plan of salvation developed in the Councils of Heaven before the world was,
implemented by the creation, the gift of agency provided, and then the great
atoning work of the Savior—has given YOU all of the tools you need to return to
your Heavenly Home in celestial glory.
Elder Bednar in his remarks went on to say:
” We come
to know the Lord as we not only believe in Him but also believe Him and His
assurances.”
Think about your own
testimony and conversion. Do you not
only believe IN Jesus as your Savior, but you believe Him when He ask you to
come unto Him? To accept His Atonement
and all of its transforming and empowering aid in our lives?
One of those calls is in
Matthew 11:28-30:
¶ aCome unto me,
all ye that blabour and are
heavy laden, and I will give you crest.
29 Take my ayoke upon you,
and blearn of me;
for I am cmeek and dlowly in eheart: and ye shall
find frest unto your
souls.
30 For my yoke is aeasy, and my burden is light.
This is a familiar
scripture and I am still learning all that it means as I try to apply it.
First the invitation to
Come---Jesus frequently has issued this invitation during his ministry on this
earth, in the scriptures, and through the modern prophets. We come to the Lord
as we exhibit a particle of faith in Him---as we obey a commandment, come to
Church each Sunday, pray to
the Father in His name, or repent from a sin.
Who can come---all who
labor and are heavy laden----it doesn’t matter if you laboring as a missionary
or heavy laden by sin—all are invited.
We are told to learn of
Christ---who He is, what He has done for us, and also accept His reaching out
to us to help us. He stands ready to
give us rest to our souls.
I wish I could share the
moment that I switched from knowing that Jesus was our Savior to believing that
He could save Me—individually and personally.
It was a gradual process which occurred in my mid-to late 20s until I
understood and accepted that powerful truth. It was like the process Elder
Bednar teaches where some truth comes like the rising sun—small bits and pieces
of light until the light of the day fills the skies.
While I can’t point to the
specific moment, I do know many of the experiences which led to me accepting
the totality of what Christ had done for each of us. Let me share some pieces from one experience….I
know it is not an experience that you have faced yet in your lives but I am
using it as an example of this process for me.
As Elder Hall and I got
married, we assumed that we could have children—when we wanted to…but then we
dealt with three early miscarriages and then infertility. We did the typical things that members of the
Church do in this situation. We prayed,
we fasted, we went to doctors, we attended the temple, our families prayed for
us, we had blessings—all to seek the blessing of children. About three years into it, I was visiting
with my family in Texas. In one of my
conversations with my mom, she commented that “God doesn’t need all of his
daughters to be married and have eight children.” She was referring to a conversation she had
had with a close friend of ours who was single, but it hit me. In all of our seeking and praying, I had
never considered to ask what God wanted us to do—what was Their plan for
us? That very night, I knelt down and,
in my prayer, I expressed our desires to have children and the different things
we had done but then I asked “What is Thy will for us at this time in our
lives?” and immediately (which isn’t that common for me), I was told to go to
graduate school. Graduate school had
been in our plans for some point in the future when our kids were all in
school, but we hadn’t considered it during this point of our lives. We were living in Provo. So when I got back from my trip, I headed to
the BYU Bookstore to get a catalog and a GMAC prep manual and discovered that I
had only 10 days until the next entrance exam which was the last one to apply
for school in the fall. I got accepted
into a school psychology masters program…..and I got pregnant in my second year
of graduate school and had our first daughter two weeks after finishing my
course work.
When I knelt to offer that
prayer, I was “heavy laden” but I was willing to do whatever I was directed to
do. I offered my little bit of faith and
I truly received rest from my burden.
Each time I asked to
receive direction and strength in my prayers to Heavenly Father in the name of
our Savior Jesus Christ and then I acted upon that direction and acknowledge
that support, I grew in my understanding that Jesus was truly my Redeemer and
Savior. Through Him as I try and try again to stay on the covenant path, I know
that He stands ready, able and willing to help me. And He is ready to do the
same for you.
Elder Bednar gave these
directions to us as we seek to know and to believe in Jesus Christ as our
Savior:
“We believe
and come to know the Savior as we follow Him by receiving and faithfully
honoring holy ordinances and increasingly have His image in our countenances.34 We believe and come to know Christ as we experience personally the
transforming, healing, strengthening, and sanctifying power of His Atonement.
We believe and come to know the Master as “the power of his word [takes root]
in us”35 and is written in our minds and hearts36 and as we “give away all [our] sins to know [Him].”37
Receiving and Keeping
covenants, having His image in our countenances, experiencing the transforming,
healing, strengthening and sanctifying power of His Atonement and giving away
our sins to Come unto Him. Believe Him when He calls!
While in my late 20s, I
finally came to begin to realize that this Plan of Happiness meant that I along
with each of you and all of our brothers and sisters can return to live with
our Heavenly Parents through faith in Jesus Christ, through repentance and then
baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost, and be staying on the covenant path—and
getting back on each time we fail. It made a big difference in my discipleship
then. But it is a process of a lifetime—even into the eternities to change and
become what our Heavenly Parents planned for us and that Jesus has provided the
way.
I just turned 68 last week
and I feel in many ways just a beginner at all of this. Let me share some excerpts from my personal
blog about an experience I had in 2019.
“Happy New
Year 2019---not sure what is ahead. In fact, I am feeling like there are
some changes ahead for me as a person and maybe our family. Changes
aren't bad, but it can be scary because often it is challenges that lead to
those changes for good. I think I will stick with Joseph Wirthlin's
phrase: "Come What May and Love It." I look forward to
sharing our journeys in 2019 together.”
My dad called me when he read that post to
ask if I thought he was going to die that year.
He wanted to know so he could get things ready. My feelings were not that specific—but that
was one of the things I wondered about—losing my dad.
At the end of 2019, this is some of what I
wrote:
“Last year at this time, I wrote
about my concerns for the year ahead and the need for me "to up my
game" in spiritual ways. Well, I made it to the end of the year and
none of the huge "life changing" things that I was worried about
occurred. But that is not to say that 2019 was a piece of cake.
I feel no need to review the list of difficult or messy things which have
occurred in this past year. Those kinds of years happen to everyone and
we all try to muddle through the best we can. But I do want to share an
observation or two about what I have learned (or learned again.)
I wish that I could say I made huge changes in my life to improve
my spirituality or discipline or whatever. I didn't. I did make a
few intentional changes….
1. As I was concerned something "huge" was going to happen, I
thought a lot about my testimony of Jesus Christ and what He has done for me as
a person. I thought about other aspects of my testimony and how my
testimony has supported me and given me guidance throughout my life and
reminded myself that it could do so whatever happened if I stayed focused on
what I know and why I believe and choose to live the way that I do. At least monthly, I tried to review my testimony….. and focused
on it more than in the past.
2. I prayed differently. One scripture that became very important
to me as we studied the New Testimony was the interaction between the father of
the sick child and Jesus. Jesus asked, "Do you believe? The
man answered, "Yeah, Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief." I
started praying that I would have the strength I needed in the year of 2019 but
also sought the Lord's support in areas where perhaps my testimony was not strong
enough. Help my unbelief.
In September of this past year, while on a train in Europe somewhere, when I
was feeling so blessed by that great experience, I thought, "Hey, this is
amazing. And it is already September and nothing terrible has happened."
Immediately my mind was filled with the list of craziness that had occurred
already in this year--car troubles, car crash, health concerns, ....the list
went on (and like I mentioned doesn't need to be recounted.). The
interesting thing was that those things were not weighing on me. We were
just taking them one day at a time and moving on…I believe that happened
because I did make some small changes in my life and renewed my sense of
dependance and trust in God in a real way.
And this year---it seems there are some exciting times ahead. And perhaps
last year has prepared me to be ready for whatever that is.
Happy New Year--it is 2020!!!!”
Somewhat ironic that 2020 was next with all
that happened that year—both in the world with the pandemic and in our own
family with the loss of my mother-in-law and two of my brothers-in-law—not to
the pandemic. We also received and
started our first mission that year in the Utah Salt Lake City Headquarters
Mission. There is no doubt in my mind
that the things that I had done in 2019 prepared me for the things of
2020. That time—I turned first to
Heavenly Father and to strengthen my testimony in Jesus Christ not like our
early experiences with infertility where it took me a few years to ask the
right questions and seek the right support from the Savior.
I testify that Our Heavenly Father knows us
and loves us. That through the Atonement
and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, all pieces of the plan are fully in place to
return each of God’s children back to our heavenly Home.
As stated in the Living
Christ:
“Jesus is the
Living Christ, the immortal Son of God. He is the great King Immanuel, who
stands today on the right hand of His Father. He is the light, the life, and
the hope of the world. His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life
and eternal life in the world to come. God be thanked for the matchless gift of
His divine Son.”
I testify as you and I come
unto Him for healing, repentance, and strengthening, Jesus stands ready to give
us what we need and someday if we allow it, through His great mercy, we can be
sanctified and ready to live in Their presence for eternity. I invite you to do the work to learn of
Christ And to also believe Him.
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