Family

(this post is mostly relevant to my family, so friends, feel free to skip!) I have been thinking a lot about what makes a family over the past month.  I have spent some time doing a small little project for my siblings for Christmas and it caused me to think a lot about them and how much they each mean to me and also the Owen (my mother's) side of my family.

And then because of DNA, my dad and brother Todd were finally able to discover who my dad's biological father is.....or at least as definite as we can be at this point.  Let me explain--

My dad once wrote a life history which he entitled "Three Mothers".  (I have a copy for future family members to read.) He told the story of his life, centered on the three women who mothered him as he grew.  The first was Viola Grace Morgan.  She was his birth mother.  She died a week after giving birth to my dad of Scarlett Fever complications.  Ramona Ackley Giberson took care of him and eventually was able to adopt him when he was two years old.  She adored her bright red-headed son.  The third mom was Belva Call.  She was the mother of his good high school friend, Udell, who provided a safe place for him in his high school years and provided him a view of family life and the gospel that he had never known.

Now, I think my dad can write a sequel about the fathers in his life.  Like he commented recently, "for some one who was raised mostly by a single mother, I had a lot of fathers."  Of course, it started with a birth father.  Somewhere in south west South Dakota in 1932, he was conceived.  It is very likely that his birth father may have not even known about his existence.  Shortly after discovering she was pregnant (so the story seems to be), she headed to California with a family she was working for in Pierre, South Dakota.  In February of 1933, she married Harry Hollis Ollie, a sailor in the Navy.  They made a home in Long Beach and there they waited for dad's arrival.  It was not anyone's plan that Viola would die after giving birth.  Harry was slated to ship out a few weeks later and gave the little infant to a friend to care for--the Gibersons--James Giberson was also a sailor and headed out to sea shortly after that as well.  Dad was cared for by Ramona and, as mentioned, James and Ramona adopted Dad, keeping the names given to him at birth of Richard Creighton.  Although that marriage ended when my dad was around 6 years old, my dad carried the name of Giberson and added many more Gibersons to the world as he became a father himself.  Udell's dad, Aaron Call, also became an important person to my dad, becoming the fourth man to serve as dad to him. Harry, James and Aaron have each been important to us.  One of my brothers has Aaron as a middle name.  We have done family history work for both James and Harry.  Personally I have felt a strong connection to the Gibersons and the promise that was made that we would seek for them.  They were people who believed in families. My great grandfather Daniel Giberson was a Methodist minister, serving those around him. My sister, Valerie, has been to Harry's grave in Arizona.  We respect him as someone who loved Viola and married her at a time when unexpected pregnancies were such a scandal.  He stepped in and up to be a dad for my dad when many may have walked away.  He made sure dad was cared for even in the middle of his grieving of losing his wife.  We know he fought to get my dad back when he returned from his tour, but the details of that adoption battle are locked at this time.

Now back to the DNA--we were all mildly surprised when we had around 28% Scadavenian in our ethnic groups. I actually looked to the end of each of my biological lines on family search and never found anyone from any of those countries.  Of course, not knowing our dad's biological father left a hole in our information. Over the past year or so, more and more matches have been added to the data bases of Ancestry.  We have known my dad's biological mother's information for a long time, because his mother and his biological grandmother kept in touch for many years and then they (the Morgans) found dad in the 1970s.  I think I have spoken of this before on the blog.  Many of those relatives had done DNA testing so we were always looking for those who were not connected to those family members.  At the beginning of November, new people were added to my dad's which led to the breakthrough...
Leonard Lyle Tegland:

I tried to look for pictures of my dad which show the similarity between Leonard and our dad, but I can't find exactly the right one.  If you knew my dad, especially around this same age, you would see it.  And the amazing thing is that although he has passed away, we have found 2 uncles (half brothers) to my dad with whom we have been emailing back and forth.  Ed and Mike.  Today, Mike sent me the following picture of this grandfather.  He was a cook by trade for at least part of his life and during WWII he taught people how to cook for the Army, I think.

What does it mean to be connected to people strictly by DNA--that is what I have been thinking about.  I know what it means to be connected to family without DNA connections--as an parent of adopted children, that is clear and solid--family is built on caring for and taking care of each other.  My connection to my children is not different based on DNA.  But do I consider people family who are connected to me not by sharing our lives together or by caring for each other but just because of DNA? Again as a parent of adopted children, I have always felt very connected to the birth parents and families of our children.  I worked for many years with birth parents and understand some of that process, so I consider all of the biological families of my children as part of my "circle of family" and look forward to eternal relationships with them.  But how does that relate to me personally--again what does it mean to have a DNA connections with someone else and does that make family? And the answer seems to be yes........there seems to be connections and curiosities for me about Leonard and those family members who are still living.  I want to know more about them, I want to meet them, and I want to understand a little bit better how bits and pieces of DNA have made me who I am and what part of that might have come along those traces from the Tegland past.

My grandfather was often know as "Red" so he has red hair like my dad.  My great-great grand father came from Norway.  My Uncle Mike uses Nordic themes in his art and named his daughter Freya after a Nordic god.  He told me that his dad, my grandfather, kept pickled herring in the refrigerator and that there are a few Norwegian foods that he enjoys.  I think I will pass on the pickled herring, but I might have to try some fish balls. Uncle Ed has four children and one of them currently lives in Hong Kong where he works as a pilot.  Connections...

I don't think that Leonard and Viola were planning on creating a son and I don't know how the universe aligned to make that happen.  The one thing that I know is that I had the right dad for me--and like all of us, he is a combination of his DNA, his life experiences, his natural gifts and talents, his spiritual self, and traces of each of these significant people (and many more) in his life.  His life path started him on the journey that led him to my mom and to the creation of my family which then started my journey...and so on goes life.......Each of these people played a role in my dad's life and I will be looking for each one of them to embrace them and thank them for their part.

Family---it is a lot to think about.  I don't know what will happen in the future.  I don't know if they are wanting to be invited to family reunions, get Christmas cards, and share lives at this late date.  I know that they have been warm and inviting and willing to share with us details about their dad and about themselves. I do know that more connections are being made--and connection and people are one of the most important privileges of all.