Sunday, March 1, 2015

Memories and familar faces.......

February 20 I attended the retirement for Dennis Ashton from LDS Family Services after 39 years of working.  He actually got a letter from the Frist Presidency thanking him for his service, but that isn't the purpose of this post.  This is more about the power individuals have to make a difference in other people's lives and sometimes it works both ways--we discover that we influenced or touched someone while they are influencing us.  So it is with Dennis and I.

If I had been a blog writer back in 1992 then there would be lots of background and stories about Dennis and his impact on me.  He was the director of LDS Family Services back in Texas when we first became foster parents for the agency, then later on I served as a volunteer doing lots of amazing things in foster care and adoption.  He taught me that to serve the Church and especially the priesthood leadership was a holy and important thing and though there were many ways to do that, LDS Family Services was an important piece. It was with him when I was helping with an adoption placement that I first saw a birth mother actually hand her baby to the waiting couple in a chapel at a hospital (again before this was actually allowed in LDS Family Services policy.) It was one of the most sacred experiences of my life.  Of course, I didn't realize that I would have that experience many times over--again due to Dennis.

He took the first phone call from the Las Vegas agency and told them that we would love an infant with Down syndrome when we were looking for a 3-5 year old with orthopedic or hearing problems. He stood by us when Jena's adoption was finalized and the judge read out her birth parents' names which at the time was a direct violation of LDS Family Services policies. (He leaned over and said, "I won't tell, if you don't"). He suggested my name to serve on the National Board of Families Supporting Adoption where I served for 3 1/2 years. And he was the one who hired me to work as a part time caseworker--replying to my statement that I had about 10 hours a week I could put into the job with "Let's not worried about hours.  Let's talk about what you can do."  Famous last words as it was really a 20 hours week job where many weeks went much past that. Although never my direct supervisor while I worked for the agency, he was my cheerleader and fallback guy.  He was the first person at work that I told about Ben's illness and he provided much support to me during those first few years.  He wrote one of my reference letters for graduate school and he was so excited for me.

As you can see, my life was really connected and influenced by him over the 20+ years we have known each other. 

When I arrived at the Church where the party was being held, I actually walked in the door right where he was standing.  He hugged and we exchanged the normal things you say at these events.  Then he asked me if I had seen his display of things from his career.  I had not as I had just arrived.  He pulled me across the room where the displays were set up.  He grabbed first a Texas Ranger baseball which was signed by all of the people who had worked in the Texas office.  Then he pointed to a Dr. Seuss book which was placed in a stand in the center of the table: "Oh, the Places You'll Go".  It was a book I had given him when I quit working at LDS Family Services in 2011.  He had missed my "quitting party" and so I had just left it in his box.  Inside I had written a thank you for many of the things I had listed above and others.  He said that it was one of the most meaningful gifts he had ever received because it reminded him first of the message of the story and also of the influence we have on each other in life.  He had never said anything about it before though we had seen each other from time to time.  It was very touching to me.  Later his wife and I spoke.  She expressed her delight that I was there to represent both the Texas years but also the influence that I had had on Dennis over the years.

Not only was it fun to share that moment with Dennis but to see all of the amazing people I have worked with over the years--the caseworkers and the "big-wigs" of LDS Family Services.  I couldn't believe how many dear friends I was able to touch bases with and to share sweet memories with.  The two caseworkers who helped with Jena's adoption from Las Vegas were both there wanting to see new updated pictures of "that sweet baby".  I was too busy talking and enjoying the event so I didn't really get any pictures except this one:

Amber Falk, me, Monica Hall (no relation)
And this one is missing Lisa, Rhonda, Tammy, James,(who were all there but it was impossible to get us together) and Robin (who is in Virginia).  Amber and I started working at the same time back in 2004 with Robin and Sundee in the Farmington office.  Monica joined us at the Layton office.

It seems right to end with a few of the verses from Dr. Seuss:

"Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go."

then to the end............

"You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!"

That is how Dennis has led his life by being "off and away"....me, too, in my own way and in my own direction...you, too, sweet grandchildren who might read this some day (and those of you reading it today)...life is a grand adventure.  Your Heavenly Father intended it to be.... so "Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way."

Life is awesome!!!

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