Sunday, February 19, 2023

My Final Devotional

 At least for this mission.  (warning--some of this might be reused in my talk in our ward on February 26)

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

When we do oral histories with mission leaders, the last question I usually asks is: “What have you learned from your service?”  It seemed appropriate as we are ending our service hereto answer that same question for myself.  Hopefully, in doing so, it might also be helpful to you.  While I will share some of what I have learned, it is probably more important for you each to reflect on what you are gaining as you are serving in your various assignments in the Church History Library.

The first thing is that I have learned is to love Church History more than I did before.  Not just the capital “C” capital “H” history that we learned in seminary and in Sunday School—although it has been amazing to see the Foundation of Faith displays with the pieces of the Book of Mormon transcripts, the First Vision documents, and the first edition of the Book of Mormon. But I have also loved the small letter church histories—the stories of everyday members of the Church as they tried to live the gospel.  Stories that can be found in the Saints volumes, in journals collected, and stories shared in our devotionals by all of you.  Thank you for sharing your sweet stories of faith, tender mercies, and conversion. 

Let me tell the story of Andrew Gibbons shared by Elder Thomas Clark at a mission wide devotional in 2021. I will paraphrase: “Andrew Gibbons met his wife in Nauvoo when they were both quite young.  They married in the Nauvoo Temple shortly before leaving Nauvoo.  Their family motto must have been “We can do hard things.”  They were asked to settled 15 different communities during their life time including:  Council Bluffs, Salt Lake City, Bountiful, central Utah, southern Utah, and then ending up in St. Johns, AZ. During all of that community building, his wife gave birth to 15 children, only 7 who lived to adulthood. Andrew Gibbons and his son went out to an orchard in St. Johns to pick the fruit and Andrew told his son, “I have planted 9 orchards in my life and this is the first time that I will taste the fruit from a tree that I planted.”  Isn’t that a great story.  Are we like that—maybe it isn’t orchards, but often we are called to do things—teach Primary, minister to each other, fulfill assignments as missionaries, etc. and we may never see the impact of what we have done in this lifetime.  Yet we move forward, do as we are asked, not requiring to “eat the fruit” of our service.  I hope to meet Andrew Gibbons and I want to be a Latter-day Saint like him.

Second, I have learned that Heavenly Father and Jesus love Their missionaries.  I guess I assumed that was true, but serving as a missionary and fulfilling our assignments both as zone leaders and also interviewing mission leaders has reconfirmed that truth over and over and over again.  Do you feel Their love for you each time you come into the Library to serve or for full-time missionaries every morning and every night as you serve here away from your homes?  I am quite in awe of that feeling and the only way that I can feel okay (somewhat) about being released is knowing that we will shortly be serving again. I told a friend it is like standing on a step stool—I feel just a bit closer to the spirit everyday than before. I know that we will not be set apart missionaries for the rest of our lives.  There are other things for us to do as well.  But it is a remarkable feeling to put on the tag each morning and to think about the Savior whose agent we are.  We started serving during Covid when the temples were still closed.  On my birthday, on July 1, 2021, we were able to attend the Ogden Temple for the first time.  I remember the prayer in the temple that day—when the person blessed the missionaries—a common, almost expected request—I was overwhelmed by the feeling of the Holy Ghost that those requests from this temple and many others were literally blessing the missionaries across the world and that included Gary, Jena and I.  I cried and tear up even now when I hear that plea in the temples.

We have seen the Lord take care of you.  Not that your lives or ours have been smooth and pain free over the past 2 ½ years—but His help and tender mercies have surrounded us.  As zone leaders, one of our assignments is to request for missionaries and then make their assignments within the Church History Library.  Sometimes that has been very easy and other times it has been difficult.  One month last year, we got two full-time missionaries and we had requests in for 6.  Some of the requests were higher priority but that wasn’t the most important.  What we tried to determine was “where does the Lord want THIS missionary to serve?”  Usually, Elder Hall and I would have feelings the day before about the assignments, some times when we meet the missionaries at the Go Forth meeting….  This time, however, we both felt stuck.  We met the two missionaries, ate food with them, took them to the library for an orientation—but neither of us felt any clear direction.  We loved these missionaries immediately and knew that they would do great wherever we put them—but the where wasn’t coming to us.  We finally sent them off, telling them we would let them know that next Monday.  That was not fun for them or for us—And it didn’t come easily over the weekend either.  But as we pondered, talked, and prayed—the assignment for one came and then finally the confirmation for the second.  I am not sure why that particular time was so hard, but it has been amazing to watch them serve and to see the unexpected ways that where they served has blessed them and those that they serve with.

The final thing I have learned is that Heavenly Father and the Savior love me and also each of you –fully, completely, and individually.  Now, I have known that since I was a little child and had my first spiritual experience, but serving here has caused that knowledge to grow in leaps and bounds, as they say.  Sitting with mission leaders as they share their unique experiences, listening to you share at devotionals and in private conversation, and hearing people share in Sacrament meetings and in comments at Church---all of these reconfirmed over and over again this foundational truth—We are his children and They love us.

As part of the Introduction to the Church History Library, I have seen the video “The Story Lives Here” twice a month for almost 2 years.  The story shared about Joseph Millet still mays me cry.  Remember how Joseph Millet shared flour with a neighbor and the neighbor said that he had prayed and the Lord had directed him to Joseph.  And then my favorite line by Joseph which he recorded in his journal which is here in the library: “It is good to know that God knows Joseph Millet.”  Have you had those moments when you know that God knows you?  Let me share one of mine.  Last February one Monday, I had a long conversation with one of our daughter who was having a hard time  and also difficult news regarding one of our son’s health.  I was discouraged and had one of those prayers with Heavenly Father during the middle of the day where I was complaining “like where are the blessings for our families which are promised for serving a mission”—not really the kind of prayer that I am proud of.  Fortunately, Heavenly Father seems to be patient with those types of prayers.  I didn’t feel anything after those complaining prayers—no surprise.

However, that night, we had an evening fireside and a couple spoke who had served in the area presidency in Africa.  The wife spoke and shared a very similar experience and prayer to mine.  Her husband shared a different but similar hard time. Five times within their remarks, they commented about Heavenly Father’s care of us as his children, as missionaries, and our families.  Each time those remarks were made, I had a strong overwhelming confirmation of the truth of those basic statements and that they applied to me specifically and personally.  My heart was opened and it was filled with the great love of our Heavenly Father and our Savior and their awareness and care for our children and for us.

Yes, They love me and They love you!  Thanks for loving us for the past 2 ½ years.  You will always be in our hearts! I have learned to be a better Saint because of knowing each of you.

Then I shared a brief testimony.

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