Medical Update

I met with my "vascular surgeon" Dr. Schlieder on Wednesday.  His summary is that my heart is great (yay!), but I do have a vascular occlusion (meaning blockage) in my left upper leg which is causing the pain in my left leg.  Walking continues to be the main therapy along with baby aspirin.  We will probably do an angiogram later in the summer to take pictures and maybe place a shunt, but it is in a slightly tricky spot so that decision will be made during the surgery. No big deal, just keep walking!

On other news, I had an ultrasound of my thyroid in response to a finding in the CT scan done by my hematologist to check out a cyst or something in my thyroid.

I don't like having a list of specialists, but hopefully, we will get these things "tuned up" and I will be good for the next 200,000 miles or 20 years!

Gary's Miracle

Gary is loving the opportunity to serve in the Syracuse Temple and continues to make himself available to help out when needed as everyone is adjusting to a new temple with lots of new workers who are learning so much.  We did sealings together on Thursday and the sealer was a man from our stake who had served as a stake patriarch until his wife passed away a few years ago.  He is sweet and amazing and we had an enjoyable time being together doing sealings there.

Jena and I headed home and for other appointments after our assignment, but Gary stayed as he had volunteered to help with the afternoon shift which was short some workers.  He ended up being assigned to help in the south baptistry and was able to help with recording and also helping with confirmations.  It was there that his miracle happened (which I share with his permission.).

An older woman, Sister Lui, came in to do baptisms for the dead...probably in her late fifties, which is a bit unusual, especially because she had come by herself, not a family group as often might happen. She came into the room where Gary was helping with confirmations to complete that part for her family names.  When she saw his name, she asked him if he had ever lived in Hong Kong.  A long time ago, he responded, in the late 1980s and early 1990s.  She started to cry and said, "I have been looking for you for a very long time....and then she shared this story....

"In 1990, we were living in Hong Kong with our four year old daughter.  I became very sick and went to the hospital but they didn't know what was wrong with me.  I called you to come and give me a blessing.  You were out of town when I first called but you came to the hospital that night and gave me a blessing.  I don't remember anything that was said in the the blessing.  After you left, I went into the bathroom and threw up over and over again, until I could no longer stand and the nurses had to help me back into my bed and then I slept through the night.  In the morning, the doctor came in and asked me what had my God done for me?  He said that the medical staff had not thought she would live through the night.  A few days later I was discharged and went home never knowing what had been wrong.  I didn't really think too much about it, was just grateful for the priesthood and for the blessing."  Her story continued---

Ten years later, they returned to Hong Kong because her father-in-law was ill and was at the very same hospital where she had been.  When she walked on to the floor, the same charge nurse was there along with others and they immediately began talking about her--the one whose God had saved her.  She said it was at that time it really hit her that she had really been close to death and the nurses were witnesses of the miracle.  Since then she had tried to find Gary to share this with him, but didn't know how to find him."

Gary reminds slightly her bearing her testimony in Church soon after her hospital stay about the power of the priesthood, but he hadn't known the rest of this story.  He would never have recognized her nor connected her with him giving a priesthood blessing.

What are the odds that Gary and Sister Lui--35 years later--would end up in the same baptistry (remember we have two) in the Syracuse Temple on the same afternoon in June? This was a tender mercy and answering this sweet sister's desire to share this testimony with Gary.

I stand in awe of our Heavenly Father and His great ways to parent us with mercy, love, and tenderness all the days of our lives! 

Mission Reunion--Utah SLC Headquarters Mission- Holmes Version

Doug and Erin Holmes were our second mission leaders at the Headquarters Mission.  It was such a pleasure to get together at a park in Farmington on Saturday night and to enjoy connecting with each other.  Jena and I attended, but Gary had to serve at the temple and missed it. Not a lot of people we knew as we were only there for the first 8 months of their two year service, but it was still great and many people had heard of Jena even if they didn't know us personally.  She left a mark at the Church History Library.

Burrows on the right were the Library Zone leaders after the Carters
The Woodfields on the left were our neighbors in the Brigham Apartments
And the sister in the middle whose name I can't spell (or say correctly) is one who likes to exchange 
letters with Jena.

Some of the missionaries who served in Collections Zone

Without Gary, this represents the last 2 and 1/2 of the
Collections Zone leaders-
The Cooks(right)--current
the Yeamans (left)--in between us and the Cooks.
I sent this photo to Liz Heath, the historian we all served
with at the library and she loved it. (Except she missed Gary, of course.)

Mission friends

Sister Holmes

The Jacksons who served directly over us.
They are amazing, too.

the two Jenas
Although Sister Jackson is a Jenna.

Jena took a selfie with Sister Holmes

President and Sister Holmes together

President and Sister Faerber served with the Family Search side of things,
but we knew them from Plano, Texas so many years ago. Fun connections...
and we found out that they are neighbors of the Bairds who served with us
in the AR Bentonville Mission.

What a privilege it was to served together! And this is just a portion of those we have served with--what a blessing they are to us.

Saturday Morning Walk

Usually Gary is up much earlier than me and he takes his walk and is often done or finishing before I even start, but on Friday and Saturday we walked together at Jensen Pond Park.  We got this shot on the bridge over the actual Jensen Pond
 

Walnut Grove Neighborhood Party Revival And Then A Reception And A Relief Society Social

Last Monday, we resumed our neighborhood party in the 850 W. cul-de-sac.  I think we started back in 2012 or 2013 with a break while we were on our missions.  Neighbors were excited to start the tradition back.

Although the weather had been running hot, we lucked out to have complete cloud cover by 6:30 when the party started so it made for a very comfortable evening.  The adults gathered for conversations including some of our newer neighbors which was awesome and we "revived" the paper rockets as well which were a big hit as always.

Gary pulled down our signs so we could
make new ones to post the day of the event, but
discovered they were already exactly right.
So we "revived" our old signs as well.
Treats and Rockets at 6:30

Getting set up for the evening

The city told us years ago that we could block off a street for a gathering if everyone on the street agreed and if things could be quickly moved in case of emergencies like medical or fire...so no bounce houses and stuff like that.  We haven't asked since then, just check with the neighbors every year.  No tickets yet.

This is Spence and little Cooper Tholen who are new to our neighborhood.  Cooper was sure because of the sound of the compressor, but once he saw his rocket take off after he pushed the button he was sold on it.  He would run so fast down the street after his rocket and then come back to shoot it again.  His mom said that he was still talking about it every day last week.

We didn't have as many people as we have had in the past, but our own kids are growing up and moving out in lots of the homes in our area.  We are getting a few young families but still we are an older neighborhood at the moment.  The treats were all amazing and the conversation was great.

It is good to belong to a neighborhood and to build relationships with those you live near to.  It was good even though Gary and I were busier with the mechanics of it rather than just having conversations.

Tuesday, we attend the wedding reception for Ryan Miggins.  He is the same age as Jena so he grew up here with us, so many of the ward members were also at the reception.  More time for conversations...

And no pictures from the Relief Society Summer Salad Social at Michelle's house, but it was also a good time for talking and connecting. Met a few new people and heard some fun stories and enjoyed being with others from our ward.

And more socializing coming up......it was all good.  Just part of the fabric of our lives which we have missed as we have been gone (not that we didn't love serving missions and there was a different kind of socializing there for sure.  Just different.)

Happy Father's Day!

Unfortunately, Amazon delivered Gary's Father's Day gift in a manufacture box and Gary was the one that brought it in off the porch a few weeks before Father's Day.  He loved the features of our new bedroom fan and wanted one just like it for the office.  He installed it during his "break" before the opening of the Syracuse Temple.  (Don't worry we had a couple of surprises for him on Father's Day.)

The remote

Jena made him a poster which we
all love.  We are lucky to have a poster maker
in the family! One for every occasion.

I forgot to get a photo of the shirt Jessica gave him, but it made him laugh out loud.  He loved it and said that it was one of his favorites---which is a big deal because he had some great ones over the years from Jessica and the other kids as well.

Happy Father's Day!! You got my card so you know all of the other stuff I think.  Love you, my friend, partner in crime, my cheerleader, my love, and my travel companion and all of the other things you do for and with me!

Teaching Gospel Doctrine

is both an amazing experience and also an humbling one.  I remember as a child, my parents talking about their desire to teach Gospel Doctrine one day. At the time (when I was young and foolish about such things), I remember thinking that he had so many of the "cool" jobs, why would he want to just teach Sunday School. ("Cool" jobs would translate into leadership positions.). Later when I was an adult and started to be a bit more wise about such things, we had another conversation about Church callings and my dad said the same thing again.  My mom added "but I wouldn't have the same pattern of teaching week after week.  I would definitely mix it up."  That counsel has stayed with me and I try to be guided by the Spirit about not only what to teach but also the how of teaching each lesson.

Last Sunday about D & C 60-63, I really planned to teach about member missionary work, but that wasn't the right one.  We had a lesson on virtue and how we can increase the virtue of our thoughts, words, and actions. We divided into groups and made lists and then each group had a spoke person who promoted one of their items for the class.  The things on their lists were so great and I shared them all on our ward's Facebook group. It was so great to see them discussing in small groups of around 8 or 9 people.  It allowed some of the class members to actually talk who are quiet in the whole group discussions.  Afterwards, several people commented that they had liked having the small group discussions.

The best part of being a Gospel Doctrine teacher is the preparation and study connected with it. All week, experiences and scriptures will play through my mind.  I love that part.

But there are moments while I am teaching where you stand in awe at what you are seeing before you as people engage and share and you know the Spirit is there....it can take my breath away especially as I know the impressions which led me to that moment in class as well.

Callings--what a great blessing in our lives!

My Remarks for the Utah Behavioral Health Commission

 Just for the record---feel free to skip if you aren't interested in public mental health policy: We had only 3 minutes to speak so I took a nine minute statement and cut it down to about 3 minutes and 20 seconds which was fine.  However, they had very few speakers so we wished that they would have allowed us to speak longer in more details about our experiences and wishes for the system.  It was good though because afterwards they came and spoke to us separately and asked us more questions about our thoughts and experiences.  That was the best part.  Here is my statement:

My name is Judy Hall and we live in Davis County. Our child was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 18…and that was 18 years ago.

What is it like to have a beloved child with schizophrenia? It is like watching their whole personality disintegrate before your eyes and discovering that their minds are a “living hell”. It is watching your calm and sweet son yelling on the porch at 2 am to tell the neighbors to stop planning to hurt his family. It is watching him pacing and talking for hours and sometimes days at a time with little sleep. It is him calling the police at 4:00 am because he was afraid that he might hurt me. It is holding his hand when we walk outside because of his delusion of floating away. It means trying medications and then trying others to find one that gives him some relief and then watching him deal with debilitating side effects. It is the inability to offer relief or peace in the middle of all his suffering. We share, because there are many who are suffering. Speaking up and being louder is the best we as parents and as a part of the Utah Shattering Silence Coalition can do to help them.

What has gone right for us: Accessing care from Davis Behavioral Health and The Utah State Hospital. These organizations with all of the community mental health centers in the state need to be strengthened. They are the ones on the front lines of services and treatment for those with psychosis-related illnesses.

This is my shortened wish list—Each of these “wishes” has a story, but limited time won’t allow sharing those--

1.      1. We need to expand and support First Episode Treatment Centers throughout the state.

2.      2. ERs are often just terrible places for a person in psychosis and their families. Families need to feel safe about taking their family members to the ER during a crisis. A working partnership with the hospital systems in the state to provide appropriate ER rooms or even better –create partnerships with local community mental health centers to support Receiving Centers in every ER must be a priority.

3.      3. Supportive housing options need to be expanded. Those with psychosis, even on medication, often require support.  It does no good to stabilize them in a hospital setting and then discharge them to “no where.”

4.      4. And if the housing situation is “mom and dad’s basement,” please assure that parents or other family members had access to support, education, therapy and crisis management resources.

5.      5. Jails are not designed to care for the mental ill and we must stop using them for that purpose, even for one night.  Police officers should not be making decisions about taking someone to jail or to a Receiving Center without best practice training. Receiving Centers and additional longer stay beds need to continue to be expanded throughout the state to prevent jail time for those with psychosis-related disorders.

Our son struggles.  He continues to deal with delusions and voices plus the side effects of medications that he must take to cling to reality. We as parents of those with psychosis are a resource to our adult children. We need to be part of the team, we need to be heard on behalf of our children, and we need to be supported. Ask us, listen to us, help us help our children and all those with psychosis related illnesses---and when we get tired or frustrating or even angry with the system, don’t tell us “we need to find therapy to manage our grief ” Help us help you and make this world or at least this, our community, a kinder, more compassionate and understanding place for our family members with psychosis.  Thank you.

Friday the 13th

When we went to the eye doctor's on Friday, they said we were brave to come in on Friday, the 13th.  Just a few minutes before, someone had arrived thinking their appointment was at 11:00 but it had been at 10:30 so he had to reschedule and leave.  The tech said that is the type of stuff that happen on Friday the 13th. Luckily, we were at the right time for their appointments and things went fine for them.  Both of them needed new glasses which should be arriving in a couple of weeks.....

Meanwhile, I got a message from my brother who got the message from my niece, Lora---my brother Todd was in the hospital for a suspected stroke.  Actually he had been struggling off and on for a few months and made a couple of other trips to the ER.  He finally had a MRI last Wednesday and the results suggested he had had a stroke in the past few months and was at risk for another one, so they sent him to the hospital on Friday.  He ended up spending the night and having lots of other tests done.  They determined that he had two strokes sometime in the past few months in the lower back part of the brain near the brain stem.  He is now on blood thinners, will have some therapies, and was told to "play games with his family" to improve his memory functions.  One of Gibersons' favorite things to do is now a therapy! (I sent him a memory game to play with his grandchildren to make him laugh. It should arrive today.)

Then Friday evening, I got a text from Tosha...Ava was at the hospital as well in the Children's Hospital in Tacoma.  She had had a seizure which she had never had before.  She had not eaten her lunch and complained a bit about her stomach hurting, but was still playing and acting fine.  Tosha headed off to set up for a wedding about 2 hours away, while Austen manned things at home. Ava took a nap and when she woke up Austen asked if she wanted pizza.  She said yes, so he walked the few steps to their kitchen bar and came back to find her in the middle of a seizure.  Fortunately, the boys were playing outside and Austen was able to get a neighbor to take them as the ambulance was on its way. Tosha had to make the drive down from the wedding location to the hospital which took over 2 hours--not fun.  They tested lots of things and decided that she had a virus which led to a febrile seizure (caused by a fever, not by a specific illness).  Thank heavens for Facetime so I could talk to both Tosha and Austen and see them and sweet Ava mostly she was sleeping.  She also came home on Saturday and is doing much better now.  They are going to follow up with some more tests including an EEG just to be sure things are okay.  Scary night to be a parent for sure.

No pictures of Todd during his hospital stay!!!!

And the Friday the 13th streak continues with Ezri at the ER at Primary's.  She has been complaining of headaches off and on for several months and she actually was seen by the neurologist a few weeks ago who ordered a MRI for her this coming Wednesday. She has struggled with headaches all weekend, but this morning she was just crying all the time and medications didn't seem to make a difference.  The on call nurse suggested they go to the ER at Primary's which is where they are at now.  So far their take is that the MRI on Wednesday will probably be the best source of information and that they need to just watch her and keep giving Motrin and Tylenol....still waiting for the doctor to get back with them. I was able to Facetime with Jessica and Erzi for a few minutes and she talked a bit but definitely not her usual smilling self.  It is looking like she may end up with a dx of Chiari like her sisters.  Stayed tuned.......

These physical bodies are fun until they aren't!!!! 

PS In my experience Friday the 13th are regular days--the "myth" just fit for the day we had last Friday. So don't worry, grrandkids, Grandma does not think Friday the 13th are bad luck.

A "Regular" Week

Having just finished up the first week of June, I decided that my title for the second week should be "A Regular Week", but then I reviewed my calendar and realized that it wasn't any more "regular" than the week before and probably the week before that.  Or maybe "regular" for us is being irregular and different every day and every week.  I don't know.  But this is our life, it is a summary of our choices, and we generally like it all.  We are blessed even in the hard things by tender mercies, simple joys, and beauty everywhere.

Highlights of the week:

Monday, we drove two separate cars to Salt Lake--I went early as part of the Utah Shattering Silence Coalition to present at the Utah Behavioral Health Commission regarding their proposed 5 year plan.  Gary and Jena drove down a bit later and we met at the Hale Theater to watch Finding Neverland.  I had never seen that before and actually loved it. 

I am still wearing my USSC shirt since the bathroom
had just long lines, I decided to not switch shirts
like I had planned.

Tuesday, Gary headed to the newly opened, FIRST DAY EVER Syracuse Temple to do initiatory, The set up is a bit different so he thought it would be helpful to watch it as a patron before Saturday.  And then on Wednesday, he headed over to do sealings for the same reason--to watch the process so he could support things on Saturday.  On Thursday, Jena and I joined him for an endowment session, so of course, we have pictures--

I thought I might see more people that I knew, but I didn't.  Gary said that he saw three people just on the way to the chapel before our session.  Mostly temple workers from Ogden that he knew.

Friday, Gary headed back to the temple to cover someone's shift and he was assigned to the baptistry where he knew three of the other workers--Amy and Steve Davis and Jen Christensen.  And then Gary served his shift on Saturday where he was the helper for a live endowment, part of his new assignment. So if you were keeping track, Gary spent every day in the temple this week that the temple was open (they are closed on Sundays and Mondays) and was able to be a part of each type of service there. It wasn't his goal starting off, but it was such a great way to welcome the temple to Syracuse.  I am sure it was very meaningful to his parents, long time ordinance workers in the Ogden Temple.

While Gary was doing those great things, I took care of a dentist appointment, a doctor's appointment with Ben, eye appointments for Gary and Jena, and attended an all-day CIT training in Salt Lake which is for law enforcement and mental health workers dealing with crisis intervention related to law enforcement.  It was excellent and certainly something we are promoting as best practice for all law enforcement agencies in the state. 

I also got some pictures hung and with Gary's help also got our new photo shelves hung on the wall.

My cushion arrived and I got the main picture hung.
Still a bit more to add to this but I love it so much.

The Grandkids from oldest to youngest
Gary changed the cord because of this picture,
so I probably should take another picture, 
but here to real life, cords and all.

After having some family sibling pictures in our apartment
in Arkansas, I wanted to still display them so now they
are on the mantel on our new fireplace.

I used to have five white small shelves.
I love these and may still add one more 
for recent grandchildren photos.  I changed the order of
these family pictures so that the ones that include
the grandkids are on the bottom row.  They love seeing
themselves in photos.

And we can't leave out our parents who now
sit on the end table in our TV room.
On this Father's Day, we do count our
parents as blessings to us.

And there is our week....except for Friday the 13th---you have heard about that date, right???

Other Holy Sunday Moments

Last Sunday was an interesting day as I realized again that God has a plan for me and as long as I pay attention and make myself available, I will be able to do what He wants me to do (at least in some fashion)---

First, my Bishop approached me after Church to invite me to lead a 5th Sunday discussion on mental health for both the youth and the adults together.  We spent about 15 minutes talking about some of his concerns but not really giving me too much direction just encouraging me to be inspired.  Tricky stuff when I am planning a Sunday School lesson for this week as well.  As I accepted, I remembered my struggle to book tickets for a visit to Tosha's and Austen's later this month.  They needed a babysitter for a concert they were to attend with a group from base up in Seattle and asked if I wanted to come and spend a few days.  The timing worked great and I was thinking I would stay until Tosha's birthday on Monday, the 30th.  Thursday through Monday seemed perfect until I actually tried to book the flights.  There were flights available, but I felt troubled about the days. I finally stepped away from my computer and the flights for a few days and then tried again--and again I felt the same unsettled feeling--I needed to be in Utah on the 29th. Why?  I checked my calendar, checked with Gary, no reason seemed apparent. It would be fun to be there on Tosha's birthday. But finally, I adjusted to leaving on Wednesday and coming home Saturday night (arriving when Gary is at the temple--how is that good planning?) but it was a go and I booked the tickets and let Tosha know. At that moment, sitting in the Bishop's office, I realized that this wasn't just a good idea that the Bishop had, but it was something that God had in the plans even back in early May.  How is that possible?  I don't know, but I am humbled that God trusted me with this important assignment and I only hope that I figure out what and how to present so much information in a diverse group about a HUGE topic.  Wish me luck....

And later in the afternoon, while I worked on the blog, I got a message on Facebook from a former adoptive family couple.  They invited me to come and meet with them and their brother and sister in law to talk about options for their adult daughter who is homeless and expecting a baby next month--that evening. Again, that feeling of being available when needed was so strong as we met in their backyard in the beautiful evening while we discussed these serious topics.  I later followed up with an email of resources for them to use or not based on what their daughter is wanting and willing to use to help her.  

Last Sunday School class that Brandon led at the beginning of June, he talked about the verse in D & C 52:33. 

 Yea, verily I say, let all these take their journey unto one place, in their several courses, and one man shall not build upon another’s foundation, neither journey in another’s track.

He mentioned that we should consider that we too travel "several courses,".  Our lives are not the same as each others but we all are traveling to the same place--the Celestial Kingdom to be with God and the Savior. That phrase and discussion has stuck with me.  Gary is loving his service in the temple and I have wondered why I didn't pursue becoming an ordinance worker when he did back in November, knowing that there would be a need for our new temple.  He and I have talked about it and both felt good about him doing that and me not.  I knew I had some health things to take care of, which have only become a bit more bothersome in the past several months.  However, I still have worried that I haven't sought that desire to serve in the temple 'enough'.  Or in other words, what is "wrong" with me? But last Sunday as I reflected on that past week, the things which happened on this Sunday I am writing about, and as I have continued to reflect on my personal journey, I feel confident that the Lord and God have a plan for me and right now that is not including serving in the temple.  That could change in a moment, but for right now, I am to be available to serve and lift others around me in certain ways and that is what I will try to do. I am taking my "course" back to God. I hope you are, too.

One final note:  I got a text from a friend of mine on Monday who I didn't even know was connected in any way with the couple I had met with on Sunday.  She is a friend from the Down syndrome side of my life and she simply expressed her gratitude for the support I was to her friend and how perfect it had been for this friend.  I didn't answer because it was the weird place between confidentiality and boundaries.  I wondered how they had had enough of a conversation about it to figure out they both knew me now.  Small world! It was sweet to hear that it was helpful in this roundabout way.

Does your life work out in these weird and wonderful ways as well? 

And Sunday, June 8th, Finally Arrives!!!

Meet the 206 operating temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! It was dedicated on June 8 by President Russell M. Nelson.  How blessed we were to have him here with us in Syracuse on this holy occasion. Elder Quentin Cook and both of their wives were also there and all four of them spoke along with the temple president and his wife and a couple of others.

We met in our own chapel along with the other wards we share our building with.  It was packed.  This was the same for all of the units in the 16 stakes which will be served by this temple.  These buildings are considered an extension of the temple for the purpose of the dedication.  You had to have a temple recommend to enter or a ticket for those children between the ages of 8 and 11.

At one point, Elder Cook referred to Sheldon and Joan Child who were in the audience in the Celestial room for the dedication.  That made me cry.  They were the next door neighbors to Gary's parents for many years while they were raising their families.  They were actually present for our wedding as their son Jeff was preparing to serve a temple and they all came to share our sealing with us.  He later served as my brother Scott's mission president and wife in New York, before he was called as a general authority.  He was later the temple president of the Salt Lake Temple when Scott and Chantel got married and he was the sealer that performed their wedding.  So lots of family connections with the mention of their names and knowing that they loved this part of the world.  They now live in Idaho near one of their children as they are both struggling with getting older.  But I loved that they were there, representing the good people from Gary's parents generation who built their lives in this part of the the county. This temple is for them and the generations before them who made this a special part of Zion.

Hosanna and praise God--there is a temple dedicated now in our midst. May we never forget the great blessing it is for us.

Summary

And that sums up a week that I thought I didn't have many pictures or done much to write about.  Time does fly by, but it is filled with life, memories, books, and people---best of all are the people who share this life with me.  I have been so blessed.

Saturday: Can I Plant This Weed in My Yard?

On my morning walks at Jensen Pond, I have loved watching these plants grow and begin to blossom their dark purple flowers. I mean I know they are a weed and their leaves are----

Not your usual soft and green leaves of most flowers, but it is okay to be different, right?

They're lining the pathway along the Bluff Road. And nobody has to water them.  They make do with what rains and ground provides.  You have to appreciate that in the desert we live in......

and the flowers are just amazing to look at.  I am a fan of purple flowers which probably makes me drawn to them, but aren't they cool looking?

So, should I plant them in my yard?  You vote.

Later that day, Jena and I attended a baby show for Brinley Dickson Keliipuleole.  She is having a girl in July.

We left there and headed directly to a park in Morgan where Jena's Stake Relief Society was having a luncheon.  Jena hung out with them while I took a camp chair under a tree and read a book for the hour and half.  Perfect weather and a pretty view to have while reading a book---that is also good for my heart. :)

The mountains are still green from the winter snow and the spring rains.  They will be changing as the summer sun and heat arrives, but pretty right now.

pickleball courts even in Morgan county

Friday: Hearts Continued

Friday evening, our dear friends, Hal and Jolynn Beckstrand, came up for dinner (Cafe Zupas) and game playing. What a blessing their friendship has been to us over the years--since meeting them in Oquirrh Shadows (first home in West Jordan) back in 1981.  No photos, but just know--lots of laughing and talking (Gary and Hal were probably hoping for more game playing and less talking, but it worked.) These moments are also good for the heart!

They are both now retired and we hope to plan some fun trip to celebrate this new phase of life that we are in now.

Friday: Hearts

Friday morning started early as I had an appointment to have an echo done on my heart (as part of my cautious (his words, not mine) doctor who wanted to make sure that my heart and its arteries are functioning well since it appears the ones in my left leg are struggling some.  It looks like my heart looks good based on reading the report on the patient website, but we will meet on this following Wednesday for another ultrasound of my leg and review all of the test results so far. So, I got to see the physical working of my heart during the echo with a very informative tech sharing the different things we were seeing and measuring.  The heart is quite an amazing organ.

Then later that morning, I had an "opportunity" to experience the other aspect of our hearts--the center of warmth, connection, caring, and to grieve with another.  I had lunch down in Draper with Laura.

The back story:  I know several Lauras, so let me tell you about this one. She is also a mother of someone with schizophrenia.  Her son was 10 years older than Ben.  The week before, I had been exchanging texts with the women I spoke about in the past post as they shared how meaningful it has been to connect with each other.  This conversation reminded me of a time many years ago that I met with Laura and a few other moms who also had sons with psychotic illnesses.  I no longer could remember the names of the others and couldn't find Laura in my phone contacts, but did find her in my email, so I sent her an email to see if it was still valid and to also see if she wanted to meet for lunch.  I told her about this new group and wondered if she wanted to also connect with them.

She immediately wrote back thank me for reaching out and also shared that her son had passed away 9 years ago.  This began a series of emails back and forth with each other and finally a decision to meet for lunch was set for Friday, June 6.

It started a bit crazy as it happened that the restaurant we chose to meet at was closed because of a city water issue in that part of town, our next option was closed for remodeling, so we ended up further south in Draper at Kneaders.

When we first sat down, she told me that since her son's death, mental health issues and advocacy have been too difficult for them.  She said after I had reached out, she didn't sleep for 2 nights because so many memories came flooding back--good and hard regarding her son and their lives together. Not at all what I meant to accomplish by reach out!  However, she assured me that it was a good thing and that she was glad that I had reached out and that we had a chance to meet together.

Her son was 39 when he passed away.  He had been living in a group home setting in West Valley.  Things had been going fairly well for him and it was a good living situation for him. He had been up and involved during the day, but then missed dinner at center.  Residents had small kitchens of their own, so they weren't too concerned about that.  However, when he missed his evening meds appointment, they went to the room and found him deceased on the floor.  An autopsy was preformed as is common in "un-attended deaths."  They were told that his inner body looked like someone in his 80s and that literally that aging had caused his death--a result of both the illness and the medications he had taken over the years. So sad for everyone.

Neither Laura or I can remember how we connected with each other or when we connected.  I know it was back around 2010 or so, long before we had interactions with the state hospital as she shared about their experiences there.  There was five of us who got together once a month down in Sandy, either at the library in a conference room or at Laura's real estate office. I would guess that we met about 8-10 times until life and the chaos of dealing with our loved ones caused us to stop meeting.  Because Laura's son was older than Ben, many times things she shared were helpful to me and even though I lost contact things she had shared helped me in my own journey over the years. So even though the details are lost to history (since I didn't keep a journal), the impact has remained with me and I knew that we were not alone in this battle.

So, we remembered her son and their many layers of involvement with mental health issues in our state.  Her husband was the president of the Board of Directors of NAMI for three years.  They taught Family to Family classes and they were involved in advocacy.  We shared tears and connections.  And as we near the end of our visit, Laura talked about how healing and perfect it had been for us to be together at this point in time--near her son's birthday--and to remember him.

Intertwining hearts---how blessed we are to be together with others in the good and the bad. 

How is your heart doing today?  The physical AND the caring one....

Thursday--Con't: BBQ at Paula's

Thursday evening (we are still on the first week of June, so June 5), I headed down to Paula's house for the gathering of these women/fellow moms of loved ones with schizophrenia or other psychosis-related illnesses. (The ones who have formed Utah Shattering Silence Coalition.) We had finally met each other in person at the NAMI Walk in May and again on Monday at the Medicaid hearing we testified at, but this was the first time we sat down together in a social setting together.  We are all very different from each other--different faiths, different careers, different families, but we share one HUGE life experience of parenting an adult child or working with a spouse in psychosis.  It is a safe place to be with each other and we love it and each other in powerful ways.  It reminds me why these connections are so important and makes me excited for the in-person parent group that we are going to start with Davis Behavioral Health.  We need each other and we must lean in to render help and aid to others.

But for this night, we laughed and got to know each other in a more casual way.  I know that these women were brought into my life for a reason.  Obviously, we hope to make a difference in our state through advocacy, but I think there are greater reasons as well.  Each of these women are powerful in their own ways and we can surely help each other personally, too.

So, thank you to Paula, Sherri, Angela, and Debra...and to Sheree who was there in spirit (she lives in New York.)!

Thursday: Trip to the Deseret Peak Temple in Tooele, UT

This picture was taken from our car while
we were approaching the temple.
I love how it turned out and if I was a painter,
this is the angle I would paint.

The GPS actually headed us up a road still under construction, so we had to make a U-turn and come from the south of the temple rather than the east.  So, be prepared if you make a trip there in the next few months.

I love the look of the doomed steeples--this one painted a gold or copper color.

The temple is beautiful and features blues, greens, and purples in ways that are so striking and pretty.  Reminds me a bit of the Taylorsville Temple.

And we are getting better on positioning Jena on a stair for our selfie photos.

I am sure I have mentioned it before, although these temples--wherever they are found throughout the world are beautiful and stunning, that is not what draws us to them again and again.  It is the spirit of the Lord that we feel there, it is the services that we perform for our fellow brothers and sisters, and it is the recommitment to Christ each and every time we are present there and reminded of what He has done for us!  That is why we go!  Peace, joy, the great blessings of the spirit---our testimonies of Christ renewed.  It is the best, whether here in Tooele Utah, in Bentonville AR, or Hong Kong....and very soon in Syracuse, Utah!