I actually can't remember much about the first day. I had to check my phone to check to see if I called Jessica, Scott and Tosha or had texted them about their Grandma's passing. I was relieved to see that I had called each of them. Of course, we had tried to keep them updated over the past few weeks, but they were as surprised as we were that it was so fast.
The things I do remember over the next days were the kindnesses of friends, extended family, and strangers. Those are the things that touch me and strengthened me during that following week.
We had had Jena spend the Sunday night with the Woodrows so that she wouldn't be alone during the night. Over the past two weeks she had spend a lot of time alone and we didn't want that to include night times as well. She had had a good time with Rance and his girl friend (and one of Jena's favorite people) Sadie Nemelka, so it worked out, but she was NOT happy at first that she couldn't stay home by herself. I think she could have, but I didn't have the energy to figure out if I was okay with that or not. I promised her that Monday night she could stay home alone if needed.
As a result, Debbie Woodrow was the first person I told outside the family. About an hour later, she arrived with a box of bagels and two spreads. It touched my heart and seriously was about the only thing we all ate that first day until we ordered some dinner other that Pop-tarts and nuts that I had grabbed on the way out the door the night before. Grieving and food is a weird combination--sometimes you can't eat at all and other times all you want to do is eat.
At 9:00 am, a dentist office called to remind Holly of her upcoming cleaning. My sister-in-law somewhat abruptly told the caller that she had died that morning. (I am not sure why she even answered the phone. It was all still very fresh and overwhelming.) About four hours later, a car drove up and a person delivered a beautiful flower arrangement from the dentist. We go to the same dentist and he really is that kind of person, but it was another act that made it all so real but also showed the willingness of others to truly mourn with those that mourn. Those were the only actual flowers that came to the house--many others came to the funeral home and we enjoyed them on the day of the funeral.
Monday evening, Gary and I sat down and talk to Jena in person. It is moments like this when I realize that Jena is a person of great faith and she feels safe in her understanding of things. She was tearful and brave but she was also calming to us. Like our other kids, her concern was for us and especially for her dad.
Because of the upcoming General Conference weekend, we quickly decided that we wanted to do the funeral on Friday before Conference rather than waiting for the following Monday. As we talked before going to the mortuary, we decided in light of Covid restrictions and to minimize travel and stress that we would do everything on Friday. So we went to the mortuary with a good idea of what we wanted. We knew the songs Mom Hall wanted and that her funeral should be an hour only.
Our ability to work together and to accomplish everything that needed to be done that week was so comforting to me. Being with Vonette and Gary and Charon and Mike (along with Gary, of course) during that week and this past week was the best thing to soothe my sadness and to help me remember the joy of Mom's passing for her and other loved ones.
We continued to reach out to family and friends and figure out funeral and other details. It is a big job, but it was holy and sweet work as well. We all received texts and Facebook comments that shared memories of Holly that others had or offered support to us as individuals and families. Again, same as when Lance passed away, the need to see and be hugged by people was very strong--such a part of how we typically mourn with others.
Maggie Bird--Charon's mother in law, became our angel, bringing us food on Tuesday and then pies on Thursday. Oh, how valuable those sweet acts of service were to us that first week.
So hour by hour we mourned and worked towards the next thing as we prepared for Friday and the funeral--except when more important things happened.
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