My Remarks at the Funeral

 My talk was centered on her grandchildren and their memories of Grandma Holly--

Loves You More Than Tulips

I first met Holly when I was a sophomore at BYU.  My roommate Jody had dated Gary during our freshman year and conned me into going up to Syracuse twice before he left on his mission—the last one being his mission farewell.

After saying our goodbyes at the gathering after the farewell, Holly followed Jody and I out to the car to say another goodbye and to thank us for coming.  Then she turned to me and said, I will see you when he gets back. I quickly responded that ” no, he was dating Jody and she was the one that she might see after his mission.”  She looked at me with a knowing look and said slowly, "No I think it is you I will see."  Jody and I had a good laugh about that..but the laugh was on me when three years later when Gary called them totally out of the blue to announce that he was engaged to Judy Giberson.  They were delighted and Holly said that she remembered me. From that beginning moment, Holly embraced me as her daughter in law and loved and supported me.  She often told me how much she appreciated the way that I supported Gary ---well, except for that time I supported him in taking a job in Hong Kong and moved there with our two small children.  THEN she told me that she wished I was a “Utah girl” who won’t leave.  I thought that was a hilarious story until I became a grandmother myself.

Being a grandmother was one of her favorite roles in life and watching her grandchildren become parents themselves was one of her reasons for “being” in the years since Grandpa died.  She loved her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  She thought about them, prayed for them, worried about them and took great joy in their lives.  I never heard her compare them or prefer one over another.  She loved them all and I am sure much of her conversation right now in Heaven is telling Wayne about them  and the great grandchildren and the fun times they had together.

As much as Grandma loved her grandchildren, they loved her and they are feeling her loss.  This week has been a tender time of remembering for them as well and I would like to share a few of their memories which serves as a representation of the experiences they all had as  grandchildren of Holly.

When I married Gary, Matt, the oldest grandchild was already in the family.  He was a red-headed one year old who we all adored.  Three more brothers to Matt arrived before the rest of us even began our families.  Over the span of 22 years, 23 grandchildren joined the family in a variety of ways.  Holly embraced them all.

Melissa shared: “One year when I was little, Young Men’s and Young Women’s camps were in the same week. This meant that everyone in my family was gone to camp except for me. I got to go stay with Grandma and Grandpa Hall and they took me to Bear Lake. I picked raspberries for the first time and I rode a horse. At the time, I remember thinking that it was one of the coolest things that I ever got to do.”

Matt and Nate both remember playing at Grandma’s house when they were little.  Matt said, “We were terrible.” While they can remember that Grandpa raised his voice to put them in life, Grandma was always kind, calm and patient with them.  They can’t remember her ever getting mad at them.

Scott said that as he got older, he had opportunities to help Grandma with repairs and maintenance around her house.  However, Grandma was always right next to him—trying to help with the project, making sure he was okay and trying to anticipate each thing he would need.  He said, “I was there trying to help her and she was busy helping me.” There is the whole story of the gun and the magpies but we will leave that for another day.

Jake and his family lived next door to Grandma and Grandpa as they grew up. He shared the following memory. “When we were kids we always wanted to spend our Saturdays at Lagoon or playing with friends, but sometimes we had to stay home and do yard work, like all families do. It would get really hot and we would get so tired and probably whiney. Around noon, we would start to keep one eye on Grandma’s house, because we knew she might see us out there working. When she did, Grandma would go to Island Oasis to pick up burgers and shakes. She always got shakes with M&Ms and we got to take a break in the shade. If we were lucky, mom would start chatting and before we knew it we were off the hook for the rest of the day!”

Christie remember when Carmen her older sister turned 16 that Grandma took both of them to a glamour shot studio where they did their hair and makeup and took photos.  Afterwards, Grandma let them walk around the mall to show off their new look.

Bryon remembered how he loved playing at Grandma’s like his brothers although not the “terrible five boys part.”  He said that he remembers that they always sat on the landing to the living room to remove their shoes when they came into the house and then again to put them back on.  Even now, as he entered Grandma’s house he thinks of that and subconsciously wants to sit down and take his shoes off before anything else.

Adam stated that he always remembered her smiling. “She was always so selfless and kind.”

Jessica remembers extended family trips with the boat and being pulled and dumped off the big inner tubes.   Jessica also commented  she “loved watching her at holiday events—she would just soak in the happiness and energy of the grandkids and then the great grandchildren.”

Chera said: “When I was about 6 years old, I remember that I was once playing outside and the birds were chirping very loudly. I was curious about them, and went to get a closer look at them. Grandma Holly walked up behind me and I heard her very distinct laugh. She told me that the birds were actually saying: “Chera is a pretty little girl.” She did a sing-song sentence in time with the birds. I remember thinking that was so great- the birds were singing about me. On some days when the birds were loud she would come outside and sing it to me again. I don’t even know what kind of birds sing this tune, but every time I hear it I remember her voice and the song she sung.” 

In the photo video, you may have noticed the picture of Nikki with Grandma under a umbrella.  Grandma had gone to see Nikki perform in Weber High’s “Singing in the Rain.” Jena’s memory was also of Grandma attending her theatre performances at Clearfield High and CenterPoint.  Jena and Grandma both loved the theatre and have attended many performances together including a trip to San Francisco to see “Lion King.”

With most of the grandchildren living close by for at least part of their growing up years, the number of plays, dance recitals, flute and piano recitals, soccer and volleyball games, drum rolls, graduations, and parades she attended along with the serious stuff of births, baby blessings, baptisms, and marriages is probably impossible to calculate. Many of the grandchildren have memories of that support.  She loved clapping for her grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Even at these events she continued to serve as an example to her grandchildren. Matt shared a time where they went to dinner with her after she attended their son’s drum roll event.  They were at Texas Roadhouse when a waitress accidently knocked a Texas size glass of ice water directly onto his lap.  He was hit first with the shock of the ice cold water but before he could formulate a response, he heard a quiet chuckle to his left and he turned and looked at Grandma—She shrugged her shoulders and said a small “Oops” in her sweet voice.  That response totally defused the situation and he simply excused himself to the bathroom to clean up. Grandma had a way to laugh at life’s annoyances.

Christie posted some sweet thoughts on Facebook and I share a part of that with her permission: “My grandma's smile would always light up the room and make every get together that much more enjoyable! She and my grandpa sacrificed so much every year so that our families could celebrate holidays in ways we couldn't afford to before. Grandma Hall had the best yard for Easter egg hunts, Christmas gatherings, Thanksgiving feast and other special events! Not because of the size or the beauty of her home but the simple fact it was My grandparent's warm welcoming smiles at the front door, the moments of gathering around her Christmas tree peaking at the gifts while the grownups cracked walnuts around the TV in the living room visiting with one another. Or the times we entered to laughter and the smell of a delicious meal awaiting our hungry bellies. Every part of her home brings back memories of pure joy and endless love! “

A few weeks ago when Holly was being discharged from the hospital into hospice care, my children were texting and asking what they could do.  At some point Tosha asked what her favorite flower was.  I asked Gary.  He didn’t know.  A few days later, Jena came home from a visit at Grandma’s house and told me that her favorite flower was a tulip.  I wasn’t even aware that Jena had heard that conversation.  That is why you see tulips in this arrangement and in the grand mother arrangement.

To the grandchildren and also to share with your children—Grandma Holly loved you each individually and she loved you collectively.  She loved watching you interact with each other and with your own children.  I am sure that she would want me to thank you for your phone calls, Christmas photos, and visits.  She appreciated them all.  She loved you sharing your children with her and for supporting our big family gatherings at Christmas, Easter, and Chili and Scones at Halloween and our family reunions at the Slide house.  As your aunt, I want to thank you for the time you took to celebrate her 85^th birthday in August.  Many times in the last week of her life she said:  “I want the great grandchildren to remember me like I was that day—laughing, giving elbow bumps, and getting splashed as they came down the water slide.”

So, my beloved nieces and nephews, that becomes your task—to remember and to share with your children that love of Grandma Holly.

In the scriptures we are commanded to remember.  Remember God, Christ and the Atonement, the plan of salvation..the list goes on because there is great power in remembering.  It is important that your memories and mine of Holly are shared with her great grandchildren and then past on.

She is a woman of faith, grace, and kindness who worked hard, built a business and so much more.  A verse of scripture sums her up.  It is the 13^th Article of Faith:

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Remember your memories so that you can follow her example and lead the life you were meant to lead just like she did all the way to the very end. She endured all things.  And remember she loved you more than even tulips.