The End of 2019

Last year at this time, I wrote about my concerns for the year ahead and the need for me "to up my game" in spiritual ways.  Well, I made it to the end of the year and none of the huge "life changing" things that I was worried about occurred.  But that is not to say that 2019 was a piece of cake.

I feel no need to review the list of difficult or messy things which have occurred in this past year.  Those kinds of years happen to everyone and we all try to muddle through the best we can.  But I do want to share an observation or two about what I have learned (or learned again.)

I wish that I could say I made huge changes in my life to improve my spirituality or discipline or whatever.  I didn't.  I did make a few intentional changes in a few ways.

1.  As I was concerned something "huge" was going to happen, I thought a lot about my testimony of Jesus Christ and what He has done for me as a person.  I thought about other aspects of my testimony and how my testimony has supported me and given me guidance throughout my life and reminded myself that it could do so whatever happened if I stayed focused on what I know and why I believe and choose to live the way that I do. Monthly, even when I am not teaching or don't share my testimony during Fast and Testimony meeting, I tried to review my testimony in my mind and focused on it more than in the past.

2.  I prayed differently.  One scripture that became very important to me as we studied the New Testimony was the interaction between the father of the sick child and Jesus.  Jesus asked, "Do you believe?  The man answered, "Yeah, Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief."  I started praying that I would have the strength I needed in the year of 2019 but also sought the Lord's support in areas where perhaps my testimony was not strong enough.

In September of this past year, while on a train in Europe somewhere, when I was feeling so blessed by that great experience, I thought, "Hey, this is amazing.  And it is already September and nothing terrible has happened."  Immediately my mind was filled with the list of craziness that had occurred already in this year--car troubles, car crash, health concerns, ....the list went on (and like I mentioned doesn't need to be recounted.).  The interesting thing was that those things were not weighing on me.  We were just taking them one day at a time and moving on!  I am not one that tends to worry a lot (which has made my feelings at the beginning of the year even more unlike me.) or hold on to the bad things, but really even in a year that I was worried about, I really did not feel weighed down or discouraged at all.  I saw the great things around us and the richness of our lives.  I believe that happened because I did make some small changes in my life and renewed my sense of dependance and trust in God in a real way.

And this year---it seems there are some exiting time ahead.  And perhaps last year has prepared me to be ready for whatever that is.

Happy New Year--it is 2020!!!!