"Just for Fun Mortal Goals"

In the current BYU magazine, there was an article about Stacy T. Taniguchi.  He is a BYU professor of experience design and management (which used to be the major of recreation management and youth leadership).  He is a popular professor and speaker and is famous for his "100-Don't just endure. Make a list and Thrive." The article talks about his decision to make a list and to go about accomplishing those things in an intentional way.  He teaches an introduction speech about this topic to upcoming freshman at several universities.  It was an interesting read and I now hope to hear him speak one day, maybe take a class from him.  But as I read it and about his list, I realized that although I have shared about my list from time to time on the blog--about things I have checked off or partially checked off, I don't know if I really talked about the whole of how my list came about.  In addition, I don't think I have encouraged my children and others to consider making a list as well.  I did a bit of a search through the blog to see what I may have written in the past and didn't find anything, so here it goes.  Please disregard if you heard it all before.

Stacy Taniguchi

Bro. Taniguchi talked about a day when he was a student at the University of Hawaii.  It was a perfect surf day and the second class was out, he headed for the beach...only to discover that his professor was already out riding the waves.  He said, "It was an eye-opening moment for me.  You have to make time to do what you love."

I agree, but you also have to remind yourself that much of what you are doing is because you intentionally chose something along the path.  Creating a list allows you to be reminded that you have choices and aims for your life.

Bro. Taniguchi says that it is not a bucket list.  It is a blue print you use to plan to live."  He was quoted as saying, "You're just winging it.  It's not that it won't be a good life, but it might be one in which you have regrets, you stagnate, you have a midlife crisis...when opportunities come along, "people don't see them because  they don't even know what they want....the 100 list can keep living and breathing itself into your life."  You can go to this post about his rules and a template if you want to make your own list.  https://magazine.byu.edu/article/100list/

Now this man is crazy.  He has done some over the top type of stuff.  He is a climber and has climbed most of the major summits in the world several times.  He has built his own house.  And the list goes on.  They say his stories are incredible.  I don't want anyone to think that adventure is what making such a list is all about.  For some, the answer is yes, but not for all of us.  I think it is looking into your own heart and finding what is there and then putting it down in some fashion and then waiting until the right moment to do it or making the right moment to do it.  It is literally thinking about life and what are some little things you want to do while you are here.

Bro. Taniguchi is not the only person with this idea, of course.  Another I have heard about is John Stoddard, an adventurer and traveler, who around the turn of the century create a list of 166 things he wanted to do.  He completed his list by the time he was 32 and started another one.  I found an article about him that a therapist at LDS Family Services had left in a therapy room.  It was interesting reading since I already had a list and later I found out that one of my clients was a direct descendant of him.

Now my list:  In 1979, Gary and I lived in Sunset, Utah.  It was back when Relief Society was held during the week in the morning.  The teacher asked us to write our own obituaries and include our accomplishments, characteristics, and whatever else we would want people to say about us.  She gave us several minutes and so I wrote.  I actually don't remember the actual lesson or the point of that exercise was.  I do know the results for me personally.  Within the next couple of days, I thought about what I had written and wondered how I would make sure those things had happened.  I had put children on the list, but had recently just had my third miscarriage--how would that come to pass.  In the process of that, I created my first list.  It had 12 items, because like Taniguchi--I had rules for my list--only 12 things are on it at the same time.  I only put things on the list that I sense I can accomplish.  That is hard to explain.  All I can say is that my list is just not a wish list of things that I would like to do (and I do have another list of 25 places I wanted to see in the world)--it is a written list of things my heart tells me I will do.  I write them down so that I can recognize and celebrate them when they do happen. 

My list did not include things I would consider to be more spiritual type of goals such as being a better mother or learning to teach children better.  I have had goals like that but they are separate from this list.  That is why somewhere along the past 39 years, I named my list the "Just for Fun Mortal Goals."  These are not really things that are critical in the eternities, but they are some of life's adventures, achievements, or stuff--that I chose to intentionally seek along the way.

My biggest regret in regards to this list is that I did not track it over the years.  Once I accomplished something, I drew a line through it.  When the list got old looking, I would rewrite it and take off the ones that I had accomplished.  Now that I have a blog, I do record meeting some of those things on here, but even then I am not sure I have noted them all.

Over the years, no one has even seen my list.  Gary would have to chime in as he is the most likely to have seen the list at times, but although we talked about things on my list, I don't know if he has ever actually read the whole list at any given time.  Gary is my biggest cheerleader for my list.  He makes the detours needed to see that special bridge that is "on the list." And when we cruised through the Panama Canal, he told me, "I am so glad that I married someone that had "Going through the Panama Canal" on their list."  How sweet is that!  When he knows something has been crossed off, he will ask me what is being added on (probably so he can figure out what budget might be needed for that goal).  He has been a bit nervous as I had only 9 things on my list for a long time--like a few years.  I don't just add something, like I mentioned, unless I know it should be there. However, I fully intended to die with things on my list.  Like Bro. Taniguchi, I don't see it as a bucket list that needs to be done before I die.  It is how I choose to live that is the focus of my list.

Although traveling is included in much of my list--past and present, I have had simple things like owning a set of china (and as an added bonus, I have a Chinese set of china, too) and having a grandfather clock (when you have something like that on your list, you don't just want any clock.  It took me about 25 years to first afford and then buy the right grandfather clock.  When I see it even now or hear it chime, it makes me smile--it was once on the list.)  I can't remember everything on the list but some other ones were:  getting a master's degree; writing an article that was published; seeing whales, riding an elephant, walking along the Great Wall of China.  I am not sure I have even had 100 things on my list over the past 39 years, but I know that my life has been amazing in big and small ways.  I think having my "Just for Fun Mortal Goals" has been a bit of the spice that has made it--my life--just that much sweeter..................and I love crossing things off of lists, even if it has taken me 25 years to complete it.

My rules:

1.  Maximum of 12 things on the list.

2.  Things that I know in my heart of hearts should be there.

3.  Nothing is too small or too big to be on the list.

4.  There are no rules about what type of things can be on the list--it can be an experience; it can be a destination; it can be an achievement; it can be obtaining an object.

5.  It is allowable to put things on the list that should have been there and cross them off.  Some things should be on the list, but I didn't know until they happened.

I once had a rule that I crossed it off once I accomplished it--until I first saw whales in the wild.  Then I knew I had to do it again so it stayed on my list.  I did cross it off after our trip in Puget Sound last summer, although I still hope to see whales again.  Anyway, apparently my rules are flexible! :)

And so....drum roll please, my list-------just in case you wanted to know:

"Just for Fun Mortal Goals"

(no special order)

1.  Serve an LDS mission with Gary.

2.  Visit the six "special" bridges in the US.  (This one was from an article I read at a doctor's office several years ago.  I immediately knew it was something I wanted to do.  We have been to three of them so far--Golden Gate, Royal Gorge in Colorado, and Perrin Bridge in Twin Falls, Idaho. Three more to go--all back east--in New York, West Virginia, and Key West, Florida.  These are bridges which are famous because they were the first to do something new or unique in bridge building.)

3.  Write an article that is published--adoption, family, Church.  (As I mentioned, I have had things published, but I have kept this on my list because I don't feel like it is quite accomplished yet.)

4.  Attend a 49ers (football) game.

5.  Visit the LDS Church sites in the east---New York and Kirkland, Ohio.

6.  Write my life story  (which I have now called-"101 Tales, Stories, and Stuff".  I realized that I have taught so much in the Church and many of my stories my own children have never heard, so I have started writing these stories down for them and hope to print the first set in a year or two.)
7.  Visit all 50 states (flying into the airport does NOT count.)

8.  Make baby quilts for each of my grandchildren.  (Getting close--only three more to bind and I will be caught up.  Of course, this remains on the list in case there are future grandchildren.)

9.  Travel from the beginning of Hwy. 101 near Olympia, Washington, to its end in LA--not in one trip.

On this list, only serving a mission with Gary was on my original list in 1979--not sure how that will happen, but it remains there as a goal.  The newest one is the Hwy. 101.  The next one I am planning to achieve is attending a 49ers game.  It has been on my list for about 20 years and I think it is time for it to come off (and as Gary pointed out, they are doing bad, so tickets might be cheaper and easier to get.)

So there you have it.  The List!  Nothing earth shattering.  Not planning on climbing Mt. Everett or anything.  I am going to work on adding more things to my list and take some of the thoughts from Bro. Taniguchi to guide my thinking.

Do I think everyone needs to make a list?  No.  But everyone should consider it and see if it would add meaning and pleasure and joy to your life.  Gary said once it was good enough to be married to someone with a list.  Maybe that is true as well.

What are you thinking about on a Sunday?  Hope it was a restful day for you, too.