Again in mid-July, there were two more deaths in the circle of my life-- one: Jana Wangsgard--she was an amazing woman who was 49 years old and was killed in a cycling accident near her home while on an evening ride. I met her because we both happen to have children with Down syndrome. Her son is about 14 years old. She served with me in the leadership of UDSF for awhile--driving 1 1/2 hours to Salt Lake from north Weber county for our meetings each month. She had great ideas and great passion for advocating for both her son and others with disabilities. She was one of those people that I was hoping would be involved in the future when we settle back into life in Syracuse and creating a life for Jena there. She was someone who was everyone's friend and always engaged in doing good for her family and others. Even though it has been a couple of years since we have talked, we were Facebook friends and I feel her loss.
Second: Janeen Brink Thompson. This is a totally different type of connection. Janeen was the oldest daughter of Walter and Lynelle Brink, long-time family friends from Amarillo, Texas. Janeen was around the age of my sister, Lynette, and then there were three more daughters, a son, and another daughter. As we moved to Amarillo when I was 16, the Brinks were one of the families who reached out to us and welcomed us. Dad said that they were one of the families he was first asked to home teach and through that, the friendships between our families grew. Bro. Brink was my seminary teacher when I was a senior so I was closer to him that the kids, but Brinks spent many hours at our house or us at theirs despite the differences in ages between our parents. Although I had recently connected with one of her sisters on Facebook, I didn't realized that Janeen lived near us in Sandy, Utah. She had a brain aneurysm on a Friday night, a stroke on the next day--her birthday, and passed away on Sunday. She was 58 years old, a mother, grandmother, and serving as the Stake Primary President.
Because of mission commitments, I didn't attend Jana's funeral but I did have the honor of attending Janeen's on July 15th. In a weird way, funerals are my one of my favorite worship services. Heaven feels so close and it causes me to reflect and to remember so many people and moments from the past, but also on myself and am I ready to make this next step. I reflect on the beauty of God's plan of salvation and the assurances that we will see our loved ones again. None of us know when it might be our turn and sometimes it is useful to be reminded of that fact.
Now the second part: My dad got back from a trip to Amarillo the day before the funeral, but his health wasn't good enough to actually attend the funeral. I had already decided that although my connection with the Brinks was more to the whole family than Janeen specifically, it was important that I attend the funeral to not only represent my family but the people of the Amarillo Ward which were so important to Janeen and her family. I can't remember exactly when but sometime after I left for college, they moved away from Amarillo. Despite that, they kept in touch over the years despite some of the ups and downs of life. Janeen's parents eventually divorced and remarried other people and about 18 years ago, Lynelle passed away from breast cancer (I think.) I hadn't seen any of their family for 40 years in person and the children were still young.
I stood in a long line at the viewing before the service which ended in the Primary room in honor of her service as Stake Primary President. As an aside, everyone should have a banner on the wall above their coffin saying "I AM A CHILD OF GOD." As I stepped into the room, I was first greeted by her oldest daughter who was asking each guest what their connection to Janeen was. When I answered, 'I knew your mom's family in Amarillo, Texas when they were little. I am a Giberson,' her eyes lit up and she said," I have heard about the Gibersons. Thanks for being here." At that moment, I was embraced from behind by Jinger Brink Aleman. With tears in both of our eyes, we hugged as I whispered the typical words we say at such a time. She then took me around the crowded room and introduced me to her siblings. Unbelievable to me was the great love and recognition they had showed me--not so much because of who I am, but because of the love that they have for my whole family--for the Gibersons. I was most surprised by Joy--she was number three (I think) of the sisters. Before Jinger introduced me, Joy said, "Wait, I know. This is Judy." Seriously, she may have last seen me at my wedding in 1978--maybe she was 13 or so. The power of the connection between our families is quite amazing!
When I was introduced to Janeen's husband, Rolf--who had no connection to Amarillo or Gibersons, he too immediately embraced me and spoke about the things Janeen had shared with him about the Gibersons.
Walter Brink, her father, was planning to attend the funeral, but as they were preparing to leave their home in New Mexico, he started experiencing some severe pains. To be cautious they went to the ER and he was admitted with a number of issues. In the process of testing they determined that he had a heart problem that needed treatment that they hadn't known about. So although he wasn't able to attend the funeral and dedicate the grave as he desired, his life was likely extended because of their caution which led them to the ER in the first place. A tender mercy for the family at this hard time.
At the graveside, I had the opportunity to talk more with Joy and Jinger. One of the last things Jinger told me was this: That Friday night, we were all heading to Janeen's house to have dinner and to celebrate her birthday. She had dinner mostly ready when she collapsed. Her husband found her as he returned from work and called 911. By the time we arrived at her house, the ambulance was already gone. On the counter were her preparations for dinner--Rogo--a Giberson tradition handed down to Brinks.
That made me cry again. A little thing but it symbolized years and years of love, laughter, family and friendship--and faith as well as we shared the gospel together.
I was proud to represent the Giberson and I was proud to BE a Giberson. The little things that the Brinks commented on to me about our family might have been little at the time and in the moment that they happened but the memories of those things have magnified them over and over again. They have been shared with their families and they have been implemented in their own lives of love and service. Love and kindnesses truly are eternal...and apparently so is Rogo!
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