The Rest Of Life

Have you noticed when you are in the middle of "A stop the world" moment--life doesn't really stop.  It just keeps on going with or without you.  That happened when my mom died and again when my father-in-law, niece, and great-niece passed away within nine months of each other--and once again when my sister-in-law died.  I can remember saying when my mom died that I can see value in the old customs of draping your doorway with black sashes and wearing black for a year after a loss.  People should be warned that the world has stopped for a moment and we may need a break or support or a hug.

I guess Facebook does that for us, but that is another story.  This is about my life in the middle of being at Valerie's doing the things reported in the last post.

First, I missed the return to the Hale Theatre to see the show "Bright Star."  Jena and Gary put on their masks and went without me. Gary told me later that it probably would have been more emotional for me than I would have liked, so perhaps dodged a bullet there.

Second,  I had a new place to walk for my morning walks---you know that I look forward to that opportunity!

For ease and since I didn't have a car, I found a path that would take me in a loop around Valerie's neighborhood and take about one hour.

It was dusty and along some major streets.

It was hot even in the early morning with the sun high in the sky and very few clouds....

and it was dusty (did I mention that?) and ordinary....and in the city which was in a desert...

But looking up, there were mountains tall in the background with an American flag hanging from its pole.

And to the north more mountains of various heights and planted palm trees lining a side street...

And people can be quite creative to make a place their home.....

Even with just rocks and wood......

and who doesn't like cacti planted along the way.............

It goes without saying that it was hot.  Even walking at 6:30 in the morning, temperatures were in the high 80's and just climbed higher during an hour walk.

Most of the walk was on gravel which only added to the sense of heat. 

But then I turned around the corner at the end of my walk and there would be Valerie and Lance's house and my heart would flood with emotion and gratitude that my morning walks ended here right where I wanted to be this week.

So Mesa, AZ, can't compete in a "beauty" contest for walks with western Washington or even Jensen Pond, but all that matters is that I was walking in the right place at the right time.(Hey, that could be a metaphor for life.)

Third: On Monday, in the middle of funeral planning in Mesa, I was able to go into the bedroom where I was staying and turn on my computer to watch the funeral of the mother of my friend, Jolie Watson.  Gary watched from Syracuse and it was great to be able to share this experience with each other for our dear friends even though we were miles apart.  It is always a sweet thing to be at a funeral for a parent of close friends.  It gives you a snapshot of the parents who influenced the growth of someone I love as an adult.  That was the case for this funeral.  I guess we have the pandemic to thank for that because otherwise I would have been unable to attend the funeral since I was out of state.

Fourth: During the closing speaker, I got a phone call from the Nursing supervisor who works with Allan Burk, my sister-in-law's husband. He is in a memory care unit and Gary and I manage his medical needs. Gary is one of the guardians and conservators of Allan since his sister's death about 7 years ago. Anyway, I answered it and had a hard conversation with his nurse that it was being suggested that we move him to hospice care so that he could get more support as he continues to decline.  He had been falling several times a day lately despite different interventions including a wheelchair.  That led to a conversation with Gary and later an email and then Zoom meeting with his two children, five stepsons, and the rest of Gary's family talking about Allan and his current needs.  This was a very hard conversation for many reasons, but especially for his children who live out of state and have not seen him or talked to him for several years.  They have not seen the decline nor are prepared for his possible impending death.  Hospice is never an easy decision and it weighed on the back of my mind like a record playing in another room throughout the week.

Fifth:  I got more letters from Nancy Wilson written by my grandfather.

Sixth: Thursday was July 30th.  That is Scott's birthday.  Originally Jena and I were flying out to surprise Scott on this day as my 65th birthday gift was to spend time with each of my children on their birthdays this year.  Instead I was in Mesa and I just got to TELL Scott that I was going to surprise him for his birthday.  Chantel had told him earlier after our plans got changed and Scott said it would have been a fun surprise--sometime its the thought that counts.  We did get to see Scott on Friday as he came to the funeral and spent the day with the family.  My brother, Scott, his son Scotty, and our Scott especially enjoy being together in the middle of cousins.

Seventh: Thursday as Gary and Jena were heading to Mesa, the latch on the trunk broke completely while driving in an isolated part of the trip.  Using one of Jena's shoe laces and a sock Gary rigged up a way to tie it somewhat down.  They bought some duct tape and strengthen it further later down the road.

They had several people try to tell them that the trunk was open along the rest of their trip.  I had the same thing happen to me while stopped in a turn lane in Mesa.  When I told the guy that it was tied down, he suggested that we put a red flag on it so people know we know.  When I mentioned that to Gary later, he said that he liked being reminded that people are nice and look out for each other.  I do, too.  It made me smile when the man honked as he pulled next to me.

Jena was very proud that her shoelace and sock had saved the day!

(Sidenote:  Gary ordered the part and with the help of YouTube fixed it this past week. He is amazing.)

Also, I read "Wood, Water and Grass" a book about the Meek Cutoff on the Oregon Trail which contained quotes from a journal of my great great uncle, Andrew McClure.  With the letters from my grandfather, I have been thinking a lot about my Owen relatives and the Oregon trail so this added to those feelings of family and connections. And then I read a couple of books that Valerie had on her bookshelf.

And then finally as a direct result of the funeral (because my brother Scott was in town), he stopped by my Scott's house on the way home and spent an hour playing with them.  He sent these photos:

Their Great Uncle Scott throwing Scarlett and James into their pool!

That brought a smile to our faces.  Family is the best!  I love that Scott took some extra time to stop by and visit Scott and Chantel and these sweet grandkids.

Life---we just keep on circling the sun day after day.  It doesn't stop for any of us!  (Well, there was the one record time when time went backwards in the Old Testament, but it is rare!)