The anniversary of my mom's passing is tomorrow. I used that as a "deadline" to finish writing this specific experience I had related to her passing. For my family----
“God’s Promises are Sure!”
In the fall
of 1981, my mom was diagnosed with congestive heart failure while on vacation
in Portland, Oregon. She had been
struggling with her health over the prior couple of years, but it mostly was
explained as allergies and a variety of lung infections and pneumonia. She was only 47 years old and still had several
kids at home including my two youngest brothers which were still in school. It was unexpected and heartbreaking for all
of us.
Over the
next few years, her health continued to decline until many of the typical joys
of life were difficult for her. Even
playing the piano or leading music was no longer something she could do except
very briefly. Fast forward to Thanksgiving
of 1984, we had had a family fast in regard to a decision about whether my mom
should apply to receive a heart transplant.
As a family, we all agreed that this was the right path to take. Salt Lake near where we lived had just done
some of their first few transplants, but all of us agreed with my mom’s doctor
who suggested that she go to one of the best which at that time meant Stanford
Hospital in the San Francisco Bay area.
She applied and was accepted as a patient. That required her to move to Palo Alto, CA from
her home in Amarillo, Texas, and always stay within an hour of the hospital. She made the move there in May of 1985 and
settled in for the wait. At that time
there was about an average of a 9 month wait.
We all made plans to spend some time with her. Jessica and I went and spent two weeks in May
with her and had plans to go again in the summer and then the fall and however
long she had to wait.
At the same
time, Gary was working on a project in Sweden, and he was able to have some great
experiences in business trips to that pretty country. Earlier in the year, he
had been invited to make an extended business trip to Sweden of six to eight
weeks during the summer and Jessica and I were able to go with him. I was so excited (Jessica was only two so
didn’t really understand what was happening.)
I had only been out of the country once at that point in a trip to
Canada with my family. Six weeks in
Sweden was a dream come true. We got our
passports and started putting in place the other things needed to leave the
country for 6 weeks. I really wasn’t worried about my mom’s heart transplant
because the waiting list of nine months made it seem like a pretty safe bet
that it would be winter before she would get an heart transplant.
One day as I
was driving in the car-thinking about my mom, the surgery, and our extended
stay in Sweden, I had a calm feeling come over me and the reassurance that I
would be there with my dad when my mom passed away. This idea was something very important to my
mom. She had expressed many times that she did not want to die at home, because
she thought it would be too hard for my dad (he didn’t even like to smash
spiders.) And her other wish was that I would be with Dad to help him when she
did pass away. It wasn’t the most reassuring feeling in a way because I didn’t
want to think of my mom passing away especially as she faced this major
surgery. However, it was a thought that
came with a great deal of peace. I
didn’t worry about going to Sweden and we moved forward with our plans.
About 10 days before we were to leave, Gary called with the news that
they had decided he did not need to go to Sweden to manage the project. They had made good progress and just an
additional trip later in the summer was probably all that was needed. It was a disappointment, but life was busy anyway,
so we just moved forward. Gary told me
that night that he was sure that my mom would be getting her heart transplant
during the time we were scheduled to be in Sweden. He said that is the only reason for the trip
to have been changed. I laughed because
Mom had only been in California for about 6 weeks—she still had a long wait
ahead.
It was
almost exactly on the day we were to leave for Sweden that I got a call in the
middle of the night
from my dad with the news that a heart had been found and
that Mom would be going into surgery within a couple of hours.
She was between family member visits so a
ward member there took her to the hospital.
Valerie, Jarom, Landi, Gary, Jessica and I all headed to San Francisco
in our car and got there about 12 hours or so after her surgery.
She was still sedated, but the surgery had
gone well and they commented that the heart was a perfect match.
My dad was already there, and we all spent a
week together as she was in intensive care.
Gary was able to stay with us, because his calendar had been freed
mostly for the Sweden trip which had been cancelled.
It was great to be there with my mom and dad
at that important time in all of our lives.
Stanford actually did four transplants in just a few days—a very unusual
occurrence and a blessing to all four of those patients and their families.
Mom did well
and within 3 months she was back in Texas.
She recovered well and was able to return to a more normal life.
Fast forward 9 ½years……..and all of our lives had moved forward. Some of my siblings got married, grandchildren
were added to the family, our family moved to Hong Kong and then to Plano,
Texas—and my mom was able to participate fully in all of those things. She and Dad were even able to make a trip out
to Hong Kong and experience a bit of life there as well. So many great memories
and just plain living went on.
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| My brother, Rick's graduation in 1992 |
 |
My kids remember Mom reading them books and
she loved pigs! |
 |
| Mom and Dad wearing the 1994 Reunion Shirts |
 |
| My youngest brother Scott started attending University of Texas |
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| A trip to visit us in Hong Kong in 1988 |
In 1994, we had a family reunion in Plano with the whole Giberson family.
Later that fall, Mom and Dad celebrated their
40th wedding anniversary with a long-anticipated trip to the Albuquerque
Balloon Festival and a trip on the historic Cumbres & Toltec Railroad. At Christmas time, they spent time with Valerie’s
family who had a new baby. While there, Lance received notification that they
were being transferred to Israel in the spring for a 2-year assignment. Mom was so excited for them and was looking forward to making a trip to see them while there. Despite
these highlight moments, Mom was beginning to have some problems related to some
side effects of the anti-rejection medications.
Specifically, her skin was becoming more and more brittle and was taking
longer and longer to heal when bumped or scratched. She was getting more tired
than in the past, which was another frustration.
On Thursday,
February 2, 1995, she tripped when leaving a restaurant after lunch with friends
which caused a large gash on her leg.
Because of the skin issues, she was hospitalized so her leg could
receive treatment and care to start the healing process. It seemed at first to be a routine matter. However, by Friday evening, she was starting
to have some breathing problems.
Saturday morning, my dad called me to update me on her current
condition. Mostly, out of habit, I asked
him if he wanted me to come to Amarillo (we lived in Plano at the time). In all of the years of Mom’s illness whenever
I had asked that, my dad had always said no…he had support around him, I had my
own life to take care..etc. This time,
without hesitation, he said, Yes, can you come?” I hung up and called the
airlines to book a ticket that evening to Amarillo. No problem getting a
ticket. I let my dad know when I would be arriving, and then did the typical
things to get ready to leave my house for a few days and leaving Gary in charge
of our four kids, age 3 to 11.
I checked in
at the arrival desk (old times before online check in), got a seat assignment
and proceeded to the gate. When I got to
the gate, it was pretty packed with people waiting for the flight…many on a
long standby list which was posted on the monitor. Some on standby were talking
near me about how they had been trying to get tickets to this flight for a week
with no luck. They couldn’t believe so
many people wanted to go to Amarillo on a Saturday evening. That was my tender mercy—to be holding a
ticket and seat assignment for a ticket I purchased eight hours earlier on what
was an overbooked flight.
When I
arrived, Robert Barton (he will always be Bishop Barton to me) picked me up
from the airport and told me that my mom’s heart had stopped twice but had been
restarted. That is why my dad had not
come to get me. It was the moment
where I knew that it was good that I was in Amarillo.
Bob dropped
me off at the hospital and I went into my Mom’s room. I think that Robin came to the airport to
pick me up while Dad was at the hospital.
Mom was not awake or perhaps not even conscious at that point. We stayed a bit and then Dad and I headed
home to their house to get some sleep.
About 2:30
a.m., the hospital called and suggested that we return to the hospital as Mom
was not doing well. Dad and I dressed
quickly and headed there. As we were
walking down the hallway, hospital staff stopped us and pulled us into a private
room where they told us that mom had passed away. In the middle of that moment,
as I held my Dad in my arms and we both cried—I had an overwhelming feeling of
peace and remembering—I had been promised that I would be there with my dad
when my Mom passed away. I had not
thought about that promise for many years.
I thought it applied to that moment in time in 1985 and the heart
transplant and the Sweden trip. But it was fulfilled 9 ½ years later in the
hospital in Amarillo, Texas.
Truly, God’s
promises are sure…now and forever! And I will forever be grateful that my mom’s
wish was also granted—that she passed away in the hospital and that I was with
my dad. We are or will not be so blessed
to get our wishes on such matters—but a sweet blessing for my mom and for me!
