"Saying Goodbye....

..... is hard to do."  I think that is from a pop song, but applies to most goodbyes.  I have spent the last month saying goodbye to clients as I finished my work at Family Services.  That is hard.  I admire my clients and the struggles they face in their lives and the strength that they have to meet the daily demands of life.

My office has been my downstairs desk since March when Covid restrictions began in the US.  Some of my clients I never met in person, which is still weird to think about.  I had scheduled the last appointments with my remaining 14 clients over the middle two weeks of August, saving the last week for file work and also back-up in case someone had to miss their appointment.  (That happened at The Children's Center so I was planning ahead.) Fortunately, all of them made their last appointments so I only had an exit interview with my boss and about 8 hours of work to finish transferring a few of my clients, terminating the others, and completed all of the needed file and other paperwork.

And Tuesday, August 26th was that day.

It was weird to get dressed up (because I have been wearing nice shirts with yoga pants and fuzzy socks for work since March) and actually drive to the office.  I worked at this office as an adoption and birth parent worker and then as a therapist.  There are SO many memories of people, situations, heartache, and learning that I have experienced or been part of as a observer. My co-workers have had such an impact on me as a therapist and more importantly as a person.  I was not prepared for the rush of memories as I drove into the parking lot for the "last time" as an employee of Family Services. And I had to wipe away tears before I even entered the building for my exit interview and to gather my things from my office.

My office as a therapist---

Inside office selfie, complete with 2020 masks.

Layton Office---

Again, so many memories--I sent the following message with the above photo to my Family Services buddies from the past--Dennis Ashton, James Wadman, Robin WIlliams, Lisa Johnson, Monica Hall, Julie Hansen, and Amber Falk:

Hi, my former Family Services friends--I thought about you all yesterday as I had my exit interview with Dave at the Layton office. Even driving into the parking lot for our meeting, I got tearful and so so many memories flood my mind of all of you and your impact on my life--as a social worker and more importantly as a person. Thank you thank you so much for all you have done for me. My adult life has been intertwined with Family Services in so many ways--from our first adoption orientation meeting in 1980 until leaving the agency yesterday as a part-time counselor. It was not the journey I expected but it was been amazing because of people like you and the awesome clients I have been privileged to be involved with. Dave has invited me to "come back" after our mission as long as I will commit a year. That was a kind gesture but my first impulse was that I am really done, but then I thought about my life and I realize that I have no idea what God has in store for me so we will wait to see what unfolds. For now, we are busy getting ready for our mission. Thanks again for everything. Love you all!

We exchanged sweet messages with each other and it was nice to share this moment of goodbye with them who all have retired or left the agency except for Amber Falk and James Wadman.  No goodbye dinners with Dave's curry chicken during Covid!

And then after a few more hours of work on the computer, I am done.

Now it is "full steam ahead," preparing for our mission!

Back Home and With Stuff To Do

 I got home from Jessica's on August 24 to a packed calendar like I mentioned in the prior post.

First thing was a court appearance for us to officially get legal guardianship of Jena.  It is a weird thing that parents have to go through this legal process and pay a significant amount of money to be able to continue to be "parents" to their child with a disability.  However that is the law.  You are suppose to do it when your child turns 18, but I had some "attitude" about the process and since Jena is healthy and doesn't make crazy financial messes, there was no pressure to do it.  (The problem can occur when your child will not be given medical care because a doctor does not deem them "competent" to agree to it and there is no legal person to sign in their behalf.  Our doctors have felt comfortable with the minor things she has needed to work with her and with us.) However, once we decided to serve a mission, we put it on the list of "to-do" and were happy to have it done on August 24.

One good thing about my dragging my feet is that Jena did not have to go to court and hear people say she needed a guardian because she was not competent.  Because of Covid, we did it in our attorney's office over Zoom for about 2 minutes and then the phone.  The judge was thoughtful and very kind and careful.  As nothing will really change for Jena, I think it was the best possible way to have it happen. Another thing to cross off our list.

Then I was off to another appointment with Ben.  His liver function has continued to decline so more tests have been ordered for his liver (an ultrasound which we did last week), some more blood tests and a UA to check the health of his kidneys, and a echo on his heart (which will be done in a couple of weeks.)  The doctor wanted him off his current anti-psychotic which is causing the damage, but was very concerned about what that will do to him overall.  As we all are!  His psychiatrist had already indicated that she felt she needed to change his medication so that actually started a few days later after another appointment with his psychiatrist. Now it is a waiting game to see if Ben can remain stable on this new medication.  (Actually it is a medication that he has used in the past, but it has been a very long time.)

After that appointment, I dropped Ben off to spend the evening with Jena. (They made mac and cheese and blueberry muffins together.)  Gary and I headed to Midvale for a long overdue Game Night with my dad and a couple of his friends.  We played "Teraform Mars."  The You-tube video of the game was 30 minutes long to review the details and rules of the game.  (It wasn't your typical Uno or Risk type of game.)  The game including the instructions took us about 4 hours.

Let's just say that Gary and I didn't win.  I am not even sure I got all of the rules right by the end of the game.  However, I loved it, all four hours of it, even with losing.  One:  I loved being with my dad doing something that he loves.  Since I was 12 or so, I spent several/many late nights playing war strategies games with my dad.  I heard my mom say once that I didn't realize that other people didn't do that with their dads or that I could have said, "No."  I actually loved it.  I learned both strategy and history while we played "Midway" or the "Battle of the Budge" and those things helped me in my life.  Game playing is a good skill in many different ways.  Second:  I loved the way that learning and playing a new challenging game stimulated my mind.  It made me think in different ways and to try to use strategy as I played.  It has been a while since I was in that situation, but I loved making my mind work in a new way even if it was just for four hours.  I am a geek, I guess, and I loved that feeling of thinking in a different way.

We didn't get home until around 11:30 that night so you can imagine--I slept very well that night!  Good thing because Tuesday was another big day!

Grandmothering and Some Aunting Happening...

 ...while Jessica and Elessia took a little get-away to Park City.  Jena and I went and stayed at their house, because Carter is still using oxygen when she sleeps and also I think kids just sleep better in their own beds.

We played, watched movies, and read lots and lots of books (Anyone want to hear-  Chicka Chicka Boom).  We had a dance party or two with Alexa providing the music.  Dinosaur Stomp is still a favorite for Alex and Carter. 

On Saturday we headed to our house for the afternoon and evening so that they could also hang out with Grandpa and "Buncle" Ben.

Here is a collection of photos I took over the weekend.

At our house---

Liam on the swing

Carter also loves the swing--not sure why she stuck out her tongue?

Alex was not interested in a selfie with Grandma--

This is actually one of my favorite photos this month--Carter talking to the dogs.  Notice how her shirt is the same color as the dogs' tongues which are hanging out.

Zander getting pushed by Buncle Ben---doesn't get better than that for Zander who is a huge fan of Ben.

Can't remember why Alex was "flashing her attitude" at me, but it made me laugh (behind my hand, of course.)

Zander wanted a picture with the sand flowing out of the funnel.

Now Alex and Ben were visiting with the dogs on the stairs...

So, since three of the kids had headed to the stairs with Ben, I thought maybe I could get a cute shot of the four of them with Ben.

That was a "no."  After about 10 photos, I didn't get one even seeing all of their faces.  Oh, well.

Back at their house--Alex and Carter thought it was funny to both be in the porta crib where Carter is sleeping at the moment because of using O2 at night.  They were playing pee-a-boo with me and would both kneel down and pop up at the same time and laugh and laugh.  I am not sure how they could time it so well without talking to each other, but it was pretty funny and went on for several moments.

Playing on their swing--four kids in the actual photo, but not looking at me...

...and then Liam figured out I was taking a photo, he was out of there!

I was so glad to spend four days with them, but I was tired by the time I got home.  I hadn't planned well, however, because I came home to a packed calendar of events..............

Liam comment of the weekend:  "Grandma, I love you every day (pause) and in every way!"  I loved it, but was amazed that he could come up with a clever phrase like that.  Perhaps Jessica and Elessia say that to him.  I will have to ask them (or maybe I won't and just think he is very clever--like all of my grandchildren.)

I remember----I need a nap!!!

Jena and the Baby Quilt

Despite my goal of doing nothing not necessary during the months before our mission (meaning other than  family things or house prep), when we heard that Kalie Watson Jolley was expecting her first baby in September, I immediately knew that Jena should make a quilt for the baby. Kalie is a dear friend of Jena's especially as they were young adults and her family are close friends of ours.  Jena likes to sew and has seen me make baby quilts for the grandkids, so she thought it was a great idea.  We found out that Kalie liked pinks and greys and headed off shopping for the appropriate materials.  It took a bit but we finally found some baby flannel fabrics in patterns that Jena liked.  Jena washed the material and then the project sat......trips, visitors, work, life interfered with my good intentions of getting the quilt made prior to August.

Jena and I worked hard together to make the quilt perfect for the new little one who actually had arrived 5 weeks early due to pregnancy complications.  It became even more important that we get the quilt done quickly.  Baby Kendall was very sick and has been in the hospital since her birth.  A few weeks ago, she was moved to Primary's Children Hospital for more specialized care.

Piece by piece, Jena sewed with some backup from me.  She did as much of the quilt that she could by herself because this was her gift to Kalie and Kendall.

After Jena completed the top, we had to use a back-up plan for the machine quilting, because our neighbor who was going to do it, became sick with Covid and had to quarantine for 2 weeks.  Luckily I have an amazing and talented friend who lived down in Mapleton who was willing to do it on the following Monday.  We got to stay and watch her sewing it on her big machine.  Jena picked the hearts for the pattern which is perfect for Baby Kendall.  Lots of people are loving her already even though only her mom and dad can see her in person at the hospital.

(I thought I took a photo of Sandy Lai and Jena with the quilt machine, but I guess not.  Thanks, Sandy, it looks awesome.)

The finished quilt

Wrapped up to be delivered....

Jena wrote a little note on the quilt-- Welcome Kendall (heart) Jena.  Kalie said that was her favorite part although she loved the whole quilt.  I thought it was a perfect touch.

It looks like Kendall's journey on earth is going to look different than planned.  But it will be okay, because she will be loved by so many people and one of them will always be Jena! And she has a signed quilt to prove it!

Nice job, Jena.  You are a good friend to Kalie and Eric.