Ramping Up On the "Normal Life" Stuff

When I first learned that I needed a more extensive surgery on the artery in my left leg, I knew that either I did it early in August or not until mid-October. September was even back then a busy month for me.  I am glad that I am approaching the 4 week mark post surgery now, because life is busy as I expected and we haven't even started the birthday celebrations yet.  That starts this week with Ben's birthday on Wednesday.

Last Monday, I started attending Sister Theresa Collin's class down in Draper entitled "Living Inside Your Temple Covenants." Yes, it is the same Sister Collins who was our mission leader in Arkansas--that is why it is worth driving an hour each Monday to have this learning experience together.  It was amazing.  They had to move it to the Chapel since over 80 people have signed up to attend.  Fortunately, she used a mic and had mics for people to use when they responded to questions which is so nice for those of us who struggle with hearing especially in a large room like that.  

It is going to be a great 8 weeks even though I will miss two of the classes as we travel in October.

We attended a funeral Tuesday morning (see next post), but then Tuesday moved forward with my typical Zoom meeting with the Utah Shattering Silence Coalition, Jena's dance class and Gary's Bishopric meeting.  Gary has also been busy installing leave guards on our rain gutters which has taken some time each day this past week when the weather hasn't been too hot.  Gary is just so good at figuring things out and then doing them.  I appreciate that so much.

We attended the temple twice this week--Wednesday night with our Ward and then again on Thursday which is our typical day.  This was the first week I have been to the temple since my surgery and it went well.  I took my little stool and Gary arranged for me to sit where I could use it.

I can't remember if I have shared these amazing stools Gary got for me.  I have one under my desk and then one I carry in the car.  It was a bit noisy to open, especially in the temple.

Jena and I had to leave her Institute class at little bit early on Wednesday to make it in time for the Ward Temple Night.  Jena said she was too dressed up for Institute, but it was okay.

A bit overcast when we arrived at the temple....

But beautiful at night when we left!  It was the first time I had walked through the grounds at night since it was dedicated and I loved the lights and how they enhanced the flower beds and walkways.

Of course, Thursday was Sept. 11, so we posted both of our flags in honor of those who died in that tragic event.  

It was been another tragic week with the killing of Charles Kirk at UVU campus in Orem, UT.  I didn't even know who he was (because I avoid most news these days) and I probably don't agree with much that he talked about or the way that he talked about it, but this type of thing should never be okay.  Killing is not a solution for not agreeing with someone else.  Tragic all the way around.

Thursday evening after attending the temple, I with Gary's help led our support group for parents at DBH.  This time we had a speaker, Dave McKay, who is the director of programs for adults at DBH.  He stayed the whole time, talking and answering questions.  He provided his direct line to the parents to reach out to him if they needed some specific help finding services.  It was so great.

Friday, I attended a monthly meeting in Salt Lake with another mental illness advocacy group which is mostly professionals.  We are all getting ready for our symposium on September 24.  The room was meant for 75 people and they have had over 100 sign up for in person and about 30 for online.  It is great and we are excited to involve more people in our advocacy to support those with severe mental illnesses in our community.  Jena went to her Friend to Friend theatre class--one of the highlights of her week.

Saturday, Gary and I helped clean our Church building at 8:00 a.m. I usually am waking up at 8:00 am this days.  I ended up on the bathroom and mopping duty.  

And, of course, today was Church and then we met for our tithing declaration in the afternoon with our Bishop.

Yes, life is back to "normal".  I am tired and I try to prop my foot up whenever I can.  Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I overdid a bit and ended up with swelling in my leg.  They say that can happen for several months after this surgery, but I have done pretty well at managing it usually.  I did better later in the week even while doing actually housework on Saturday. I am actually quite impressed with how well my incisions are healing and how "tidy" they are. I walked a mile on Friday and Saturday--a slow mile but I did it.  I think I will move back to Jensen Park this week.

And that is a wrap for getting back to life.....

A Funeral

Not really a "normal" event, but getting a bit more common as we age--On Tuesday, Gary and I attended a funeral for Mel Thatcher, a friend from Hong Kong days.  He was a remarkable man who for over 30 years negotiated and obtained family records from all over the world for Family Search.  He was brilliant and was highly regarded in this field, publishing many articles especially in Chinese.  I served in a YW presidency with his wife, Tuan, who is equally as amazing as him.  At the time we knew them, they only had three of their six children living with them in Hong Kong but they basically raised their family in Asia living in Hong Kong a couple of times, Japan, Singapore and the Philippines.  

It was good to see his children that we knew and to meet the other ones.  And it was also great to see some of our old Hong Kong friends--Allan Anderson, Pat Jones and his wife--whose name I can't remember, and Eileen Bradford.  We learned later that Joyce Abernathy was also there, but we missed seeing her.

His impact on gathering records is beyond measuring. One of the speakers who worked with him at Family Search said that even Family Search doesn't have a way to track how many collections he gathered --or arranged to have microfiched or digitized depending on the time period. Millions and millions of people are now available to be found and researched because of his work and tireless research to track down and to acquire these important records.  And did I say he was brilliant??

You know sometimes when you are at a funeral for someone like Mel who was amazing professionally but also as a human being--a husband, father and grandfather, you might feel like your life is unimportant in comparison. That might be a natural human feeling.  However, during that funeral, what I found was a feeling of gratitude for the way my life unfolded, how my talents and gifts have been used, and how I have been able to touch others--not millions, probably not even hundreds--but one by one--and an overwhelming feeling that just like Mel used his gifts, I have been able to use mine--not perfectly, but in ways that God has intended. We all have a place on this earth and there is a plan in place for us to grow individually but also to help others---and it is highly individualized for each person. There is a meme which says something like "Be the best YOU you can be.  There isn't anyone else who can."

Another sweet part of the funeral was my interactions with the Thatchers' children.  Joseph, Suzette, and Leah lived in Hong Kong when we did and the two girls were in YWs when we served with their mom.  Joseph was the first one I saw and I loved his response to me and the sense that it was meaningful to him to share this day with us and other HK friends. Next I saw Beckie--who I really never met, maybe in passing at their 50th wedding anniversary a number of years ago. I said, "Hi, we are the Halls.  We knew your parents in Hong Kong.:  She immediately said, "You are Judy. You have children who are adopted. We do too. My mom loves you and has talked to me about your experiences."  Leah and Suzette both said something similar--our parents loved you and your family.  Suzette said, "I will never forget what a good friend you were to my mom back in Hong Kong."  She was 15 years old then and a bit of a rebellious daughter---yet she noticed and appreciated my friendship with her mom.  We never know when others are watching and remembering.

What a blessing to know Mel and Tuan Thatcher----living in Hong Kong--the gift which keeps on giving.

Til we meet again, sweet Mel!

Signs of "Normal" Life

 Jena and I made cookies for the first time since we got home from our mission.

It is a slow process and I am not even sure what "normal" life is for me and for us. Before our mission, I had been working and before that, graduate school, and before that (and overlapping with that) being president of the Utah Down Syndrome Foundation....and so on and so on.  We haven't done "retirement" really yet and so I am still trying to figure out what "I want to do when I grow up".

I am involved with some other moms to promote better care in the state of Utah for people with severe mental illnesses.  That has involved weekly zoom meetings, a monthly meeting, and also I was interviewed for some videos we are showing at an upcoming symposium that we are co-sponsoring in Salt Lake County.  I am also speaking at that event regarding the transition from youth to adult services, sharing some of our experiences with Ben.  Davis Behavioral Health has asked me to lead a parent support group for parents with adult children with SMIs which is every Thursday night.  We have only had a couple of people attend but it is good.

I am teaching Gospel Doctrine in my ward which is great. Last Sunday, I was finally able to do the presentation about mental health and mental illness to the youth and adults of my ward.  (I was suppose to do it the last Sunday in June, but was in the hospital in Washington at that time.)  It went okay although there is so much more that could/needed to be said.  We gathered over 60 questions back in June and were only able to address part of them.  The youth are going to have a follow up session and talk more about it in the next month or so.  I think it would be good for the Relief Society and Elders to do that same.

I am planning to upcoming trips (to Arizona and to Dallas--both in October) and making plans for next year.

And I still have boxes to unpack, pictures to hang and other stuff to do inside our house to finish with the reno and moving back in stuff.  That is still a bit on hold since I still have restrictions on lifting, bending, etc. for a few more weeks.

And I am reading lots of books!!!

Turning 70, probably because of the weird health things I have experiences since getting home from our mission, does feel like turning the corner into being "old."  But it also feels like an adventure.  Definitely the "last" few decades of my life--but still a time of growing and learning and new experiences at home and as we travel.  We are so blessed and life is good even if my leg hurts!!!

Back to School For the Grandkids

Oro Valley (Scott and Chantel's kids) started school first in early August--

Scarlett is starting middle school--

James is in third grade--

Ogden schools started next in the middle of August  (Jessica and Elessia's kids)--

Ezri--2nd year of Head Start--

Zander--

Liam--

Carter--

Alex---

Tosha's kids were the last to go back to school in Tacoma.  Only fair, I guess, because they didn't get out of school until almost mid-June.

Niki--early morning start to catch a bus to his new middle school.

Ava and Cooper heading off to first and third grade.

So far, they all are reporting that school is going okay or great, depending on the day and who you ask.  :)  With Niki and Scarlett starting middle schools, they both got phones this summer with limited numbers they can talk to.  Luckily, I am on the list.  It has been fun sharing texts with the two of them.  Niki even sent me a "Happy Grandparent Day" emoji last week.  Scarlett told her dad that she likes to read my "long" texts.  I do tend to write in complete sentences and ask questions which her friends probably don't do too much.  She has started running in cross country at her middle school which is fun because Chantel was also a runner in school.  In her first race, she came in 7th out of 30 which I was very excited about for her first race. It makes her tired she says, but she likes it.

They are all growing up.  So happy to have each of them in our lives!  Happy learning, my sweet grandchildren.  I (mostly) LOVED school!!!!

Surgery

 As Gary posted on our family chat--"No photos pre surgery--Too many and they all look the same..." We arrived by 7:00 for our 7:15 arrival time registration. As always, people were friendly, organized, and kind.  I had a Peripheral artery bypass surgery using plastic tubing for the bypass as planning. It lasted about 3 hours.  When the doctor and his PA came in to talk to me, the doctor described the surgery as "boring" and that is exactly how you want things to go.  No surprises, artery worked well as they sewed in the bypass and blood traveled through the bypass exactly like it should.  All good news.

There was even talk about me going home on Friday but that didn't work out as I had digestive problems most of Friday which made me miserable for that day.  But I was able to do two walks on Thursday and also two more on Friday plus a long one with a PT on Saturday which allowed me to be discharged on noon on Saturday.

The nurses and all of the staff was so great.  The food was good even though I didn't appreciate much of it. And I had a room with a great view of the city of Ogden including the Thursday night rainstorm.

First time standing up

After the storm

For those of you who like the gritty medical stuff (no photos) but I have two incisions--each about 4 inches long.  One at my crotch and one on my lower inside thigh,  They have layers of dissolvable stitches plus glue on top.

Because I had been in a hospital in Washington within the last 60 days, the hospital staff had to put on the yellow disposable clothes each time they came into my room.  There are 10 states currently who are flagged due to measles and some other communicable diseases and a yeast infection which is frequently picked up in hospitals (my test came back negative AFTER we got home).  I felt sorry for them to have to grow up each time they came in.

Christine, the PA who followed my care in the hospital and also will do our follow up appointments was great.  Her council was to let your leg dictate how much you use it and when you should rest.  Another PA who helped in surgery told me that I needed to be super strict about not being up more than 20 minutes at a time.  But both were clear that when I was sitting or laying my leg needed to be propped up with pillows. 

One fun thing was that one of our nurses (Friday morning when I was very sick) was Brittney Sloan, who lived down the street from us in Syracuse years and years ago.  It was fun to talk to her and catch up on her and her family since they left Syracuse, probably 16 years ago. Small world and a great connection.

So I got home on Saturday, the 16th, and have been in recovery mode mostly since then.  The biggest surprise at discharge was no driving for 4 weeks.  What?? I hadn't prepared myself for that.  But Gary has been a great taxi driver as I have begun to engage back in life.  And last week when I had a 2 week check up with the PA, Christine, she said I could start driving short trips and just see how my leg manages.

It is about 3 1/2 weeks since the surgery when I am writing this and my recovery is going fine.  I have managed to do the big things I had on my calendar, cook dinner most nights, and I have kept reading lots of books with my leg propped up.

Oh, yes, the oxygen--apparently the next little health journey I get to explore in the coming weeks. I was sent home from the hospital with an order for night time oxygen, because whenever I fell asleep or sometimes even when I was just relaxing, my o2 levels would drop.  They asked me to follow up with my primary care doctor which we did the week following surgery.  I assumed that it was just the effects of surgeries one on top of the other.  Our doctor ordered an overnight oximeter which we were able to do a few days later.

This past week, I got a call from the office of the sleep doctor that the test had been sent to and they would like to do a complete sleep test in their office.  Yuck---and yes, they would like me to keep using the oxygen until they do the sleep study and determine what is going one and what should be done to correct it. Apparently, my results were severely disordered.  My health journey continues....

So, this is my view several times a day, sitting in the recliner with my leg propped up.  (Notice my cute p.j. pants--bought for the occasion of my surgery.) 

I have worked up to walking 25 minutes for my morning walk in the neighborhood and hope to move that to 45 minutes this week or next and hoping to "graduate" to the local park later in the week.

It is a bit slower to heal when you are 70 rather than 37 (last time I had surgery that required incisions on my body.), but it is a "boring" recovery which is good news, too. 

Surgery Eve.....

That day when you try to get everything cleaned, the laundry done, and groceries in the shelves because you know that you won't being doing that stuff much for a few weeks. That was our Wednesday, August 13th...I actually did the food things on Tuesday and we did want to fit one more temple visit before I was down so that was set for Wednesday......

So we headed to the temple to do sealings in the morning which is always a special treat.  When we came outside, this car was parked next to ours....I had to get photos for the Hello Kitty fans in the family--

That is a serious commitment to a brand--not what I would expect to see...anywhere!  Someone loves Hello Kitty!

Gary was serving in the temple on Wednesday in the late shift, so we invited Wayne Volk to come over in the afternoon along with his wife, Kaye, so that he and Gary could give me another blessing for this specific surgery.  I was actually more nervous about this surgery for some reason.  Probably due in part to the fact that unexpected things have been popping up lately and I was a bit "gun shy" as they say.  And the fact that I haven't had a surgery where they actually "cut into me" and planned hospital stay since 1992 when I had a hysterectomy.  I was only 37 then and I am now 70....a big difference! And the whole idea of a "bypass surgery" even when it is the leg artery and not a heart---which would be so much more scary for sure.  We had such a good visit with the Volks.  It was one of those moments when you knew it was right to be sharing this time and conversation with them and for them to be a part of this blessing.  I don't remember much about the blessing although the doctor and his skills being enhanced was mentioned, but I do remember feeling comforted and that was the desire of my heart.  I didn't want to feel nervous about something I needed to have done.  

August 13th is a special day because it is Jena's friend, Emily Ehlen's birthday. So after we got the house cleaned and after the blessing, we stopped off at her house for Jena to drop off a card and a gift for her.  It was fun because one of their young adult volunteers with Wonderwood was visiting from Florida so Jena got to see her and meet her new baby.  Old friends are some of the best blessings in life----

I had finished all of the household tasks that I thought I wanted done before my surgery, except for mopping my wood floors.  I had decided to wait until the evening to finish that final task. Then about 7:30 Jessica called and asked if they could all spend the night.  Their power had been out for a few hours by then due to a fire north of them about 5 miles--no power means no AC which isn't fun in the August summer in Utah. Of course, we were happy to have them come.  We got a bed put together downstairs for the grownups and put sleeping bags on the family room floor for the grandkids.  And I got one last unexpected but happy grandchildren fix before my surgery----Jessica shared this photo--

The only thing better than reading to 5 grandchildren is reading to 10 of them!!! Love them so much! My kitchen floor didn't (and still hasn't) gotten mopped, but there are way more important things than a mopped floor.  Reading to grandchildren is one of those things.  :)

We had to leave about 6:30 in the morning to make it to our appointment at McKay Dee so we didn't see them in the morning, but it worked out that they spent some time with Jena until about noon which was great for us because we don't like her hanging out all day alone.  So it was a win win and their power was on when they got home.

And that is how the day before surgery went.  It was pretty perfect.

Jena at RISE

Tuesday, August 12, Jena started attending RISE a day program for people with disabilities.  I just felt like she needs more interactions and opportunities in life and we can't wait until she finds a job to start framing out the rest of her life.  She was so excited.  She didn't want me to forget to do the "First Day" photos to share with her siblings.

She came home happy and excited to go again next week so a good start.

Is it really what I want?  Not really, but feels like the best of our current options with good flexibility when she is still looking for a job. Right now she is going once a week on Tuesdays except for the upcoming week when she will go twice so she can participate in their cooking activity on Thursday.

Elder Jensen's Mission Homecoming

 On Sunday, August 10th, we headed up to Burley, Idaho, to welcome Elder Amos Jensen home from his mission in Arkansas.  He spent the first three transfers or so in Ft. Smith and we loved being there to watch him change from a new missionary to a powerful one.  It was great to be there and to spend time also with his family.  Having children who were adopted connected us immediately with his parents.

An unexpected bonus was spending time with some of our other young missionaries as well--

Elder Smith, Elder Miller, Elder Jensen and Elder Rojos.

We saw the Burley Temple on our drive to Elder Jensen's home after his awesome talk in Church. So we went back to get pictures..  They will have their open house and dedication this fall.

I texted Sister Collins our group photo from Elder Jensen's house and she sent me two photos of the open house they attended on that same Sunday.  20 missionaries had come home that week from the Arkansas Bentonville Mission and many spoke the same Sunday.

The Collins with more young missionaries we love

And we just heard last night that another set of missionaries from the ABM are getting married--Elder Keller who served with us many transfers is marrying Sister Oaklee Martinez who we didn't know--fun stuff.

It was a fun Sunday to renew connections and remember the joy of missionary service.

Finally, A Temple Visit...

morning walks at Jensen Pond, a trip to Lagoon, and unpacking boxes of toys in the downstairs game room.  Signs of "normal" life around here. It was so nice to feel well enough to do some regular things.  It felt so great even with a leg which doesn't like to walk much.

Lagoon

Their music show

Gary and Jena did Rattlesnake Rapids

Gary and Jena have gone to Lagoon a few times this year, but this was my first time.  I hope to be able to make it back for Frightmares in the fall.

I started walking at Jensen Pond last Thursday--and on Saturday I was able to walk about 40 minutes which felt like a major accomplishment.  

The cattails were in "bloom" along the path.  I love cattails.  In some ponds down the hill from where I grew up there were always lots of them in the fall.  In 9th grade I did a project about them for my Environmental Science class which included the different ways local people used them historical.  I love that they are included in the Syracuse Temple as part of the design.

They aren't the prettiest plant, but I still love them.  They remind me of Richland and also Syracuse!

And finally un packing some toys in the basement--

Nice to accomplish something especially when I know that I will be back in a recovery mode after Thursday.  Goal this week:  Clean the house!